Mizuiro No Yuuki
by Taiki Matsuki
Summary: Follow up to A Glass Of Water - Takato leaves home after writing an important letter to his Mother, about himself. He goes to school with plans to tell his friends who he really is and to stop hiding. Uploaded with Original Author's permission. Complete!
1. I: My Decision, Matsuda Takato

**EDITOR'S NOTE: **It is strongly suggested that you read the fic _"A Glass of Water" _before you read this fic. Thank you - Taiki Matsuki

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Mizuiro No Yuuki  
Chapter I: My Decision (Matsuda Takato)

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My parents are still upstairs in their room...I need to do this quick and hope no-one checks the register before I leave.

I press the code to unlock the register, 4979, and open the cash tray. I slip an envelope inside, addressed to my Mom...

...It's my coming out letter. After I heard my parents talk last night, about how my Mom suspected me as gay and, in the end, that they both not only accepted me but wanted me to tell them, just so I could feel at ease. So I didn't have to live a lie. So I could be who I was without any fear...

I still can't believe my Dad was so accepting of the idea. I always thought he'd be disappointed was a best case scenario. My worst case scenarios (which usually played out in my nightmares) were...very, _very _worst case.

I hear the sound of someone coming down the stairs, I close the register and hide out of sight...My Mom passes through the hall and goes into the kitchen. She's probably starting breakfast. I go upstairs to take a quick shower and get ready for school...

...Please, no-one look at that register before I leave. I know they accept me, I'm so happy that they do. But the fear I've had of them or anyone else knowing isn't going to go away overnight. Even though it...has to.

...If my parents suspected me, I think my friends probably do, too. The way Hirokazu didn't do his "check her out" routine when we were at the restaurant with the legendary waitress, the way he took my shrug in response to "Do you like her" with "I thought so" in...a playful tone. And, if he was just joking, then...Where did he...get the idea to joke that I was gay? Aside from Ruki, maybe.

There's also Juri...She's been asking me who my "mystery girlfriend" is, the "someone else" I told her about when I turned her down... ...Yesterday, something possessed me to jokingly say "Jen." She_ congratulated _me. And, after a little embarrassment when I told her I was joking, we joked about what things would be like if...Jen and I were going out.

Also, again with Hirokazu...Well, he came up behind me while I was joking around with Juri about dating Jen. If...he heard anything, well...He didn't say anything when he gave me an invite to go to the ramen shop but, well, he didn't do his usual "check her out" thing when we were there at dinner. Even when we got the waitress he wouldn't stop talking about for so long. If he was being polite around her, that's one thing but...Not going on and on about her "great ass" after we left? That and his "I thought so" have me wondering...

Those two, I'm sure...they suspect or even know. Jen and Kenta...I don't think so. There's only one thing that scares me more than my parents knowing (before)... Jen knowing.

I've...liked Jen-No, I don't like Jen. I'm not...going to "like" Jen anymore. I _love_ Jen. I...I always tone it down in my head, "I like Jen a lot." No, I love Jen. I guess...I don't want to sound "too gay" even in my own thoughts. Last night was the first time I ever said "I love Jen" to myself and...I'm not going to stop. I've loved Jen for...so long now, I've known for sure it was love for a year but...

...Looking back, it's obvious I liked him as more than a friend before I started to worry that I might be gay. And after it became a scarier and scarier reality that I was, in fact, gay it was also a reality that I loved Jenrya Li. He's been my best friend since the fifth grade and now we're in our second year of high school and I wish so much that he could be more than my best friend...

...But I doubt it will work out that way for me. I just hope he accepts me and doesn't hate me...That's my biggest fear: Jen never speaking to me again. Jen hating me...because of something I had no control over.

I-I have a nightmare, actually, of just that scenario. I get it now and then, ever since I realized I was in love with Jen...I would confess to Jen and, at first I would think he'd like me back but it ends, always, with him hating me, telling me how disgusting and wrong I am and swearing to never speak to me again...

...I've woken up crying a few times. My Dad once woke me up from it because he could hear me crying from the hallway. I-I just know telling Jen is going to be the hardest in all of this. Harder than I can imagine and my nightmare does a pretty good job at telling me how hard it's going to be. I-I sometimes have dreams where we're together, but...That nightmare occurs more often...I don't know why. I'm almost afraid it's a warning from the Gods or something...

...Why am I even doing this? It's one thing for me to know my parents will accept me, but why am I coming out to _everyone _today? Ever since I realized I was attracted to other guys, I was terrified of the idea of someone even joking that I was gay! And, of such jokes, Ruki is the queen and has taken at least five years off my life with them, especially the time she called Jen my boyfriend in front of everyone and most of our parents. Just that little joke scared me so much, in case people started to suspect things from it. It was enough to make me not even want to acknowledge it to myself! I-I almost convince myself that I'm not gay sometimes! I-I really do!

Again, why am I doing this?

...Because I'm tired. I-I'm tired of being afraid, of living a lie, of being depressed, of...Of everything! What my Mom said last night, about what she read on the gay teen help website, is so true...It's so hard to live like this, I don't like having to join in with Hirokazu whenever he and Kenta go on and on about some hot girl, to have to make it look like I'm not staring at a guy like they stare at girls, to have to put on a show for everyone, to be afraid of being suspected as...gay.

...I don't want people to suspect that I'm gay anymore, I want them to _know_ that I'm gay...I want _them_ to deal with it for a change!

I-I'm...getting a little too worked up about this...It's...not going be anything like that. Not even close.

W-We'll...see how it goes, though...I mean, it's one thing to say "I'm going to tell the world I'm gay" and another to actually try to tell one person... ...It's...taking a lot of will power to not run downstairs and get that letter back. And I know my parents want me to be happy and who I am...I-I hope my friends...can want the same for me.

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My Mom's looking through the newspaper, I think she's...looking for an article on gays or something for her to talk about and show her support. It was one of their ideas from last night, to hint at things being okay...So I could come out to them when I was ready...Like, after I go to school and Mom opens the bakery.

They won't ask me directly, they know it would upset me. I really don't like awkward conversations with my parents. Especially about things like this! I-I just...It's not something I like sharing unless I have to. "The talk" with my Dad was a good example of that...

...If there was one single, defining "_this_ is why Takato Matsuda is _gay_" moment of my life: That would be it. Well, if it did work that way, it wouldn't have "made me" any "gayer". I...I had been worried I was attracted to other guys for at least a year before "the talk." But...Ugh...That conversation was... ...not fun for anyone involved. I-I...I had trouble looking at him for a while...

Once breakfast is done, I get my books together for school...I hear my Mom say, "I'm going to go open the bakery" to my Dad.

...Time to go! "Bye, Mom! Bye, Dad! See you later!" I hurry out, I don't even hear their responses. If it were up to me, I'd be at school before my Mom was even in the same room as that letter...But it's not like they'd run after me if they started reading it right now. And...I know they support me but...One night doesn't remedy so many years of being afraid...

...But, again, it'll have to. I see Kenta crossing the street ahead of me, to get to the park to cut across. Just like when we were in primary school, same general short cut just a different direction...

"Kenta!" I wave.

...This is it...

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Original Author's (AKA Ori's) Notes:  
Remember when I said I might do some follow ups to _A Glass of Water?_

Well, I got my RA meds refilled the day _A Glass of Water _went up and because of those meds loves me oh-_so_-much I got insomnia and... ...Yeah, this is another insomnia induced fic. So, this can go either way... Pretty much all of it was written out over a night, save for edits and some revisions after I came to.

Originally, this was all just written for fun. I wasn't planning on letting it go up. Ever. But I sent a preview to Twerp-chan and...He really, really wanted this fic to go up. So...I hope this thing is actually good more than I usually do, since I can't believe I agreed to let him post this one. I'm sorry if this isn't as good as the others! I apologize in advance!

I'm always a little more worried about insomnia fics since...Let's just say there's the ones that Taiki puts up and then there's the ones that don't see the light of day. The latter don't see the light of a day for a reason. I can get some...really, really weird ideas at times. _Never _be afraid to tell me if any of these are (or just ANYTHING I write is) bad,_ please!_ It's the ONLY way I'll learn!

Basically, I wanted to cover Takato's journey out of the closet that "A Glass of Water" skipped over. Coming out stories are my absolute favorite when it comes to slash and, really, I was just writing this for fun and to get it out of my system. And...I just don't know about this...

On a final note: The title means "Water Colored Courage" or "Courage The Color of Water." Weird, huh? I blame the insomnia. The logic is that the original fic had "Water" in the title and I wanted to keep the theme going... ...So, yeah... Take that as a sign of things to come...

I really hope you enjoy this one...

Oh, and of course: Happy New Year, everyone!

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Taiki's Notes:

Honestly, Ori is not joking about insomnia and fics like this. I've seen him online in "insomnia mode" and he is incredibly focused on what he's writing. Or if it's gone on long enough he's still incredibly focused but also so out of it and close to passing out face first on his keyboard that I usually mistake him for drunk.

I would thank him for writing so many Jenkatos when in this state, but I don't want to even remotely imply that I don't care about his health or sanity! I really do care about the former but I often question the existence of the latter.

Regarding this story, Ori sent me a preview of a later chapter and I told him I wanted to see this fic go up so very much. So, to appease Ori and his usual concern over the quality of his work I say this:

I, Taiki Matsuki, begged Ori to allow me to post this fic, Mizuiro No Yuuki, against his better judgment. I will accept full blame if this is not "all that good" compared to Ori's usual works. Please, address all complaints to Taiki Matsuki. All praise is to go to Ori because he really needs to work on his self-esteem as a writer. Thank you very much!

And one final and important milestone note: As of this upload, this account has archived over **300,000 **words! Go Ori! Go Jenkato! Go Digimon Humor and Slash! 300,000 words! We got there before 2011, too! Happy New Year, everyone!

-Taiki Matsuki


	2. II: Who I Am, Who You Are, Who We Are

Mizuiro No Yuuki  
Chapter II: Who I Am, Who You Are, Who We Are (Kitagawa Kenta)

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"Kenta!" I hear Takato's voice. I turn and give him a wave, he usually gets to school after I do, I almost never see him this early. He jogs over to me. "Good morning..." He's a little quiet.

"Morning," I nod. "You all right?"

"I...had some trouble sleeping," Takato shrugs. "Kenta, um...I-I want to talk to you about something important. Do you have a few minutes?"

"Sure...Walk and talk or do you want stop at the park for a few minutes?" School doesn't start for a while, I like to get there early.

"Um...Stop at the park, first bench we see. It'll...hopefully be quick." He's starting to look nervous, I-I think he's even sweating a little. Takato, dude, what's wrong?

I walk along the edge of the park, scanning the area for a bench. I see one under a tree about ten yards or so from the sidewalk. I cut through the grass with Takato behind me...He's gone silent. ...Something's...definitely up with Takato this morning.

We reach the bench, I motion for Takato to sit first, he sits at the far left of the bench, I sit more towards the middle. "...Okay, what's...going on? You look nervous as hell."

"Um...Kenta-kun, I...I want to tell you something...About myself. It's...sort of...a big deal. I just want to be honest." ...Honest?

I nod. "Okay...What is it?"

"Kenta...I..." Takato takes a deep breath, he exhales slowly. "I...I..." He looks to me and...His lips are moving but...No sound it coming out of his mouth. L-Like his...voice froze. He clears his throat, loudly. It seems to help, a little. "I-I...I'm..." He's starting to shake, he...looks terrified! "Ke-Kenta...I..." Again, he can't make a sound and...He also looks frustrated by how his throat just doesn't want to cooperate with him.

"Takato...Are you okay? J-Just...what are you...trying to say...?" It's...gotta be something huge, if he's...this...scared...

...Holy shit...

...Is...Takato about...to...? He's...?

Takato, please, you _have_ to tell me this. Please. I-I...I have to know for sure.

He finally lets out a frustrated growl. He speaks in a panicked tone, "I-I can't! I-I'm sorry, Kenta! F-Forget this...I-I'm being weird...Th-That's all!" He glances to me as he starts to get up, his face is bright red and...He looks...a combination of scared, pissed at himself and...like he's about to cry. Takato, no! Please! Don't do this! You can't stop now...I have to know...Please. "It's...nothing, actually." He looks away and starts to walk off.

No!

I grab his wrist. "Keep going._ Please._" My...voice is doing the same, sort of. I-I can barely speak above a whisper. I have my head down.

"K-Kenta...I-I can't-"

"Please, Takato." I look up...I-I need to know.

Takato swallows. "...Y-You...have an idea of what I was going to say...right?" He sits back down, I still hold onto his wrist. He...looks really scared.

"A-Are you? Please, tell me...I-I have to hear it, Takato. Please." I...I need to know...

Takato again takes a deep breath, he closes his eyes and...after more than a few moments, he says, "...I...I-I'm...I'm gay." He sighs, turning to me, he looks even more scared than before. "I'm sor-"

"Thank you," I say, a little bit above a whisper. ...I...I can't believe this...

"K-Kenta? ...Wh-What did you say?"

"You have no idea how...badly I needed to hear that, Takato...No idea...Fr-From anyone I knew...Anyone..."

"...Kenta?"

"...I am, too," I whisper, I feel my eyes starting to tear up. I'm not alone...I-I was sure I was alone...But... Thank you, Takato...

"Wh-What?"

I sit facing forward. "I-I'm...I'm the same, Takato. And...It's _really_ annoying when Hirokazu does that whole 'check out that hot ass' thing, right?"

"...Y-Yeah..." He whispers. I glance over to him, he's...staring at me with his eyes wide.

I lift my glasses and wipe my eyes. "Y-You're amazing, Takato, you know that? I-I would...never do what you just did. Y-You...You came out! You actually told someone...I-I still...I can barely say...I'm 'the same,' and I sure as hell couldn't until...I knew you were..." I trail off. I-I don't know why, I just...I have trouble even saying 'it.'

"...Gay?" Takato finished for me.

I nod. "Y-Yeah...G-Gay. I-I...I'm...I'm gay, too, Takato." Th-That felt...so good to say.

"I had...no idea..."

"That was...my goal. No idea," I laugh. "...Wh-Why did you tell me?"

Takato swallows. "L-Last night, I heard my parents talking in their room. My Mom...told my Dad she thought I was gay." Holy shit...If I heard my parents...talking about that... ...I'd probably faint. Or puke. Or piss myself...Or all three. "A-And...Kenta, my Dad said he would...accept me. My Mom, too, she had...been to a gay teen help page for information and they want me to...be myself. They knew it...was driving me insane, putting on a 'straight show.'"

"Did...they ask you or did you tell them?" Takato...you...are so freakin' brave.

"I just listened in, then I wrote a letter to them before I went to bed. I put it in the cash register for my Mom to find. It...tells her she was right and that I'm...going to tell my friends today. That their acceptance is...why I've decided to stop lying..."

I let out a quiet sob, I couldn't hold it back. "You are so lucky and so brave, Takato." I take off my glasses again and wipe my eyes. "I-I...I couldn't do this! I-I want to, but... Are you going to tell Hirokazu?"

Takato nods. "Him, Juri and...Jen."

"Wh-When you tell Hirokazu, can I be with you?" I ask. "I-I want to...know how he takes it. If he takes it well, I'll come out with you. To him, at least. Please?"

"O-Of course," Takato nods. "I-I could use the moral support...Kenta, this was so much easier in my head than...Y-You saw, I froze. I-I just couldn't speak, no matter how hard I tried. I-I haven't had that happen...Ever. I knew it would be hard but..." Takato trails off. "Like I said, I'm tired."

"I am, too. I don't mind Hirokazu's thing but...I can only pretend to like girls _that_ much with him before I go insane." Hirokazu...you_ need_ to date. I mean, every freaking day I have to spend twenty minutes checking out girls...Before noon. After noon, depends on where we are and how many girls are within a twenty-yard radius...

"You do a better job than I did. I-I know I sound like such an idiot, Hirokazu probably thinks I have 'virgin for life' tattooed on my forehead or something," Takato laughs a little.

"You know last week, when he was watching those girls at the, um, track field?"

"Shirts and skins, right?"

"You watched, too?" I-I can't believe I'm sharing this...not only to anyone but...to another guy, who's 'the same' as I am. Thank you, Takato. "Hirokazu was...so distracted, I just said 'yeah, so hot' to make him think I was paying attention to the girls...I was talking about Skins."

"...Jen should have been skins that day," Takato says with a grin.

"If only, Takato...If only. I really like how he grew his hair out last year, too..." I-I can't...I can't believe I'm saying any of this! ...I-I'm...talking to Takato like this is normal! And it is, we're...

...Takato, I can see why you wanted to come out...This feels...so good. I-I'm with you, now. I..I'll try to tell more than just Hirokazu...I'll tell Jen and Juri, too! ...At some point.

"Agreed," Takato laughs, then glances away, saying, "I love him...And I'm telling him today. So...if you see him, keep this a secret, okay?"

"S-Seriously?" ...Confessing, too? Takato, you're...pulling out all stops...

I wish I could just pull one stop. Well, actually...I-I did! I'm talking about guys with Takato! Now I need to try for two stops...

"If it was this hard to tell you, though...I-I have so much more at stake with Jen," Takato sighs, then quickly adds, "N-Not that I don't care about you and the others but...If Jen took the news badly..."

"I-I understand, Takato. Trust me..." I smile. "I wish you the best luck. I hope he likes you back...You two would be great together." They...really would.

"Did you...ever suspect anything about me before?" Takato asks.

"Lately you haven't been as into girls but, to be fair, I think Hirokazu could wear out a straight guy on girls...So, I didn't think it was because you were gay. What about me?"

"Not really," Takato shakes his head. "I always thought of 'checking out girls' as 'checking out girls with Hirokazu and Kenta,' you did a good job at hiding it."

"...Not for much longer, I hope," I smile. "...If I didn't want Jen to be your first gay-kiss so badly, I...I would kiss you right now, Takato. I feel...so happy right now."

Takato laughs, "I-I'll let you know how that goes...If Jen doesn't...feel the same, I'll let you be that first kiss...If you want." He turns bright red.

I-I can't help but smile, but I hope he gets that kiss from Jen. I really...liked hearing that offer, though.

...I-I wonder... Th-This might be...N-No, it's _not_ too bold! ...Well for two guys it kinda is, but...Screw it, I've...wanted to do this...

I stand up. "Um...Want to...at least...Hold hands on the way to school? J-Just for fun, I mean..." I-I just...want to try it, really!

Takato laughs, getting up. "S-Sure, just while we're cutting through the park. For fun and...to be out." I can't believe I'm doing this... ...Thank you, Takato. I-I've...I've been playing it straight for so long that I almost believe it sometimes...I needed this.

I smirk. "Can I also say something I've wanted to say honestly for a while?"

Takato gives me a confused look, nodding.

Here goes... And it's the truth. "...You're really cute, Takato."

Again, Takato turns bright red. He stammers a bit. "Th-Thanks...K-Kenta-kun...I-I..." He laughs. "I've...never had...someone else say that about me."

"S-Sorry if it's...too much but...Takato, I've never been able to be...this open with someone about it...I-I'm having fun, I guess."

"I think your glasses are really cute," Takato says with a smile. My cheeks suddenly feel warm...

"Th-Thanks," I smile, glancing away to try to hide my blush. I hold out my hand...

...Takato takes my hand and we start to walk through the park. I know, it's...just holding hands but...

...I've never been this open about myself before in my life. Not even alone to myself...I-I barely ever use the word "gay!" And now...

...Takato, I-I'll come out to Hirokazu with you if he takes it well...Because...I'm free, I guess. I-I'm gay!

"...Thanks again, Takato," I say, turning to Takato with the smile I haven't been able to control since he took my hand. "Good luck with your coming out day."

"Thanks, Kenta...Especially since if I tried to come out to anyone else just now, I wouldn't have been able to go through with it. This made me feel a lot better about how the rest of the day might go."

"Anything I can do to help, Takato, just ask...I want to help you today."

"Thank you...It's...still scary, but...I'm not going to stop."

"Good luck...Especially with Jen."

...Really, Takato. Just telling me you were gay is something I can't thank you enough for. I...I can finally say it to myself, to you and...hopefully soon to other people:

I'm gay!

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Ori's Notes:  
I won't give you my usual "why Kenta is the gayest character in Tamers and will always be gay in my works" rant. We've all heard it.

This time, I wanted Kenta to be really closeted and, well...Like the fic says, it's one thing to wake up and say "I'm coming out" and another thing to actually do it. It's easy to lose your nerve, so Takato needed...something like Kenta's reaction to help encourage him. And I thought he and Kenta could have some fun "being gay(er than usual)" for a little bit, their first "out and proud" moment. Granted, Kenta took it up to eleven but...Meeting the your first "gay-friend" is...a really big thing if you're in the closet.

Hope you liked this one!

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Taiki's Notes:

I'm happy that Kenta went from terrified to say "gay" to ready to admit his feelings for Hirokazu! Ha ha ha, I can hope. I understand what Ori meant by how big that would be for Kenta, having a "gay-friend." Especially since he sort of begged Takato to finish coming out to him.

I hope Kenta has a happy ending in this one, Ori! Maybe Hirokazu is just so "into" girls because he doesn't want anyone to suspect he's actually Kentasexual?

I know you won't do that but I can hope for him, can't I?

-Taiki Matsuki


	3. III: My Friend, Shiota Hirokazu

Mizuiro No Yuuki  
Chapter III: My Friend (Shiota Hirokazu)

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I go up to the water faucets and sink by the side of the wall and turn them on. I splash my face a few times. I'm still trying to wake up...I'm not normally at school anywhere close to this early but...I woke up really early, like before sunrise, and couldn't get back to sleep. I decided this should be the one magical day a year I show up at school before the first bell rings.

I couldn't get back to sleep because I was thinking about something that had been on my mind since yesterday...

...He's gay, isn't he? That's probably it. It would make a lot of sense, now that I think about it. He's just not all that into girls, and I'm pretty sure he was actually watching that shirts and skins game the other day instead of the girls' track team like we were. He wasn't all that subtle about it, even though I think he was trying to be. I wonder if he liked anyone on the Skins team...

...I wonder if he likes me. Ha ha ha!

If that's what he's into, though, I wouldn't have a problem. He's still the same friend I've had...forever. If anything, I'd feel like an ass for all those times I've invited him to check out girls with us (which has been, like, every day since we started middle school). I mean, I'd feel weird if he invited me to check guys. I guess it's sort of the same. And I know how he'd be really, really afraid of telling anyone that girls aren't exactly his thing.

Plus, there's what he was doing yesterday when I gave him that invite to the ramen shop...I mean, _that_...was a _huge_ tip off. I-I didn't say anything, he looked embarrassed enough so I played dumb. It's also why I kept quiet about Yuki-chan, the world's most beautiful waitress, at the ramen shop...I thought he could use a break from checking out hot girls...

...Even if Yuki-chan is the fairest of them all.

"Hirokazu!" ...And what's that Chinese saying Jen always uses? Speak of Sou Sou, Sou Sou shows up and invades your ass? ...Er...I-I meant...Invades your ass as in...He's Sou Sou, great conqueror of central China, founder of Gi...Not...THAT kind of...

...Oooh boy...It's too early for me to think about this kinda thing...

"...Kenta!" I turn, trying to give him a casual smile. Kenta walks up to me with a wave from the school gate...He's...smiling like...I've _never_ seen him smile before. "What's got you so happy?"

"You'll...see," Kenta says, playfully. "I had a talk with Takato and...He'll tell you. He's just dropping off some books at his locker. He wants to meet us out front somewhere." A talk with Takato? With a smile like that...What, did Takato give him winning lotto numbers or something? If so, you'd better share, Matsuda!

I nod, looking around the front of the school for a place to wait...One of the trees surrounded with those bench-slash-raised-box planter combinations looks good, it's near the wall and not too many people usually hang out in that area. Plus it's in the shade. "How 'bout there?"

Kenta nods, still smiling. He hurries over to the tree and sits down, I jog after him...

...I might as well ask him now. "Hey, um...Before Takato gets here, can I ask you something?"

Kenta nods.

"Kenta, lately...Um...How...do I put this...?" I trail off. "I-I've been...kinda wondering something. I-I don't want you to think I'd be pissed but-"

"Hirokazu! Kenta!" Crap, Takato's here! I'll wait 'til lunch. I don't know if Kenta would want to have Takato think he's gay or anything. And, again, I'd have no problem with it, really! Kenta's been my best friend...forever! Gay or straight, _Kenta's awesome!_

I wave. "Takato! What'd you tell Kenta that made him so freakin' happy?" I turn to Kenta. "Seriously, dude, you haven't looked like this in a loooong time." Like...Ever. Not since we went to the Digital World. Not sayin' that Kenta's been depressed lately but compared the smile he's got now... ...Let's just say I can practically _FEEL _how happy he is!

Kenta just nods with that smile...I really like it that he's in this good of a mood. Kenta's my best friend, if he's happy, I'm happy! ...Hell, I'm a better mood just looking at him smile like this!

Takato sits on the opposite side of me. "Well... I-I told him something about myself." About...himself? "I'm making an announcement today to all of my friends. And thank the Gods Kenta was the first person I told, because...I almost lost my nerve."

"Good luck, Takato-kun," Kenta says.

...Kenta's...THIS happy because Takato...told him something about _himself?_

...What the hell's going on?

Takato glances away, saying, "First, Hirokazu-kun...Promise you won't mention this to Jen. I want to tell him myself. It's really important that I do that."

"No problem." I nod. "So, what is it...?" ...Is...it possible...?

Takato looks to Kenta. I glance over to him, too...Kenta gives him a different kind of smile, less...Kenta's-Super-Duper-Mega-Happy and more...'You can do it.' He also gives him thumbs up.

...Takato? ...Kenta?

Takato takes a deep breath, he's...shaking a little. "Last night, I overheard my parents talking about me...They had a...um...a-a theory about why I've been...sort of depressed at home, lately. And they were right about why." Takato's...been _depressed?_ That's news to me! Wh-Whenever Kenta, Jen and I see him he's..._always_ happy. "I-I heard them say they...wouldn't have a problem if they were right. So this morning, I told my parents this in a letter I hid in the cash register...And I'm also telling my friends. Because...I want to be honest with...My friends, my family...A-And...Myself." ...Accept? ...Honest? ...T-Takato...?

Is this...what I think it is?

Takato hesitates at first, he clears his throat. He looks to me and says, "I...I'm gay, Hirokazu."

...Holy shit...

"Y-You? ...For real?" I ask.

Takato nods. "Does...this bother you?" Hell no!

I shake my head, quickly. "I-I'm surprised but...Dude, these days? It's not a problem for me, I-I'm sorry about all that 'check her out' stuff, if anything. R-Really, I didn't...mean to make you, y'know..." Damn, I feel...like an ass about that.

"D-Don't be," Takato shakes his head. "I mean...I kept it a secret and, well, that helped it...stay a secret, let's say."

"W-Wait..." I just...realized...If this is what...Takato told Kenta... And Kenta's..._that_ happy...? "...You're...happy because...?" I look to Kenta.

...Did Takato confess to Kenta or something...?

"I-I'm...I'm the same, Hirokazu," Kenta says, his smile is replaced by a bright red blush, but there's still a bigger smile than usual on his face. "Takato told me first on the way to school and.. I...got to talk to someone about being gay for the first time ever...I'm not alone. I-I'm...actually...ready to tell more people, I-I woke up so afraid of people knowing and now..." Kenta laughs, looking to me with that huge smile again. "I'm gay, Hirokazu." ...I knew it.

I put a hand on Kenta's shoulder, smiling. "I'm happy you're...so happy, Kenta-kun. I wanna make it clear, you're _always_ gonna be my best friend." From the look on his face after I say that, I think Kenta just found a way to be even happier.

I...I'm not surprised about Kenta. I won't tell him that...But, after yesterday...

...The fact Kenta was at one of the computers in the school library and reading a Taiki\Kiriha fic when I invited him to the ramen place yesterday...There wasn't much deniability there, Kenta-kun. I just played dumb when I saw how embarrassed you were. "Clicked the wrong link," my ass, Kenta. Not when I'm reading it over your shoulder for ten minutes...And you were on chapter six!

...How's it end, though? I-I forgot the title and, well, chapter six was a cliff-hanger! Still...I think Zenjirou would work better for Taiki-Wait did...Did I..._Did I really just think that? _

...I gotta derail this train of thought. _NOW!_

"One thing," I say. "Just...with how happy Kenta is...Um...Are you two...?" I look to Takato, then Kenta. Takato's blushing, Kenta's...blushing but not as bad.

Takato and Kenta sitting in a tree...

Kenta shakes his head. "N-No...There's a reason Takato doesn't want anyone else telling Jen." ...Aw... Sorry, Kenta...

"...I love Jen," Takato says. "And...I don't expect him to like me back but...I want to be honest with him. I want him to know how I feel..." He...suddenly looks really nervous, even shaking again...Just the thought of telling Jen is enough to scare him, I guess...

...Yeah, if I were Takato I'd...be pissing myself with fear right now. Not just from coming out to everyone but...I mean, Takato and Jen are so freakin' close that if Takato didn't have Jen, even as a friend, I don't know how he'd take it. Aside from "not well," I know that much.

I put an arm around Takato. "Good luck, dude. I'm with you, always. Whatever happens, I'm there." If...Jen hates you, Takato, I'll kick his ass...Granted, I know Jen can easily kick my ass but...There's still a message in the attempt! ...Except...

...Jen is, by far, the best friend Takato's ever had. I can see him saying 'I don't swing that way,' but I can't see him saying, 'Get the hell out of my life.' Of course, even I know that sometimes throwing 'I'm gay' into the equation can make even the best of friends turn into huge assholes...

...Takato, you've got a lot of courage. If I were gay, I couldn't do this...I couldn't even say it to myself in the mirror. You're freakin' awesome, Takato. Good luck with your confession.

"Thank you, Hirokazu-kun," Takato wipes his eyes, smiling. "I'll...let you both know how it goes." He gets up. "I'm going to go try to find Juri...I'm telling her, too. Thank you both...so much for your support."

"Anytime, Takato and...I hope Jen likes you back," I say, waving as Takato jogs off to the school building. He turns and gives us a quick wave...Smiling. Even I can tell how much of a relief it is, not just being accepted by his friends but...Just being out.

...And I really do hope Jen likes him.

I mean, if Takato's gay then...Hearing he likes Jen, well...DUH! I mean...Those two are like Kenta and I-Wait...

...Like...Kenta and...I...

...Baaaad analogy...But not because I have a problem with Kenta or Takato, but...

"Um...Hirokazu...On the subject of...Takato and Jen..." Kenta trails off, blushing slightly.

...I think I know where this is going...

* * *

Ori's Notes:  
I couldn't resist the fake-out opening with Hirokazu...I hope you got a little laugh from it at least.

Hirokazu's chapter was meant to be a little more light-hearted since, well, he's Hirokazu. And his POV is always fun, especially if he's questioning his "preference."

The power of Taijirou compels you, Hiro-kun! The power to Taijirou compels you!

I'll let the reader decide how Kenta's confession goes...

Finally, the "Chinese saying Jen always uses" that Hirokazu quotes: "Speak of Sou Sou, Sou Sou shows up and invades your ass." The actual phrases is "Speak of Cao Cao, Cao Cao is there."

Sou Sou is Cao Cao's name pronounced in Japanese, Hirokazu would be familiar with that instead of his name in Mandarin (Also "Gi" is the Japanese pronunciation of "Wei"). In Chinese, the phrase is "Shuo Cao Cao, Cao Cao Jiu Dao." And, yes, that's the same Cao Cao from Romance of the Three Kingdoms\Dynasty Warriors.

Happy New Year's Eve!

* * *

Taiki's Notes:

Yes! Thank you for the Hirokenta confession, Ori! I really didn't think you'd put one in here!

I see the confession ending with Hirokazu being very confused about his feelings for Kenta. After school, he goes home and reads a few Taiki Kudou\Zenjirou Tsurugi slash fics before calling Kenta to say "I love you, too, Kenta-chan." But I'm very biased towards seeing Kenta happy with Hirokazu. Kako Mo Etc. influenced my view of him that way.

Speaking of Kako Mo Etc., Ori, I noticed that little shout-out to the "Bonus Christmas Chapter" you put in there with Hirokazu's inner-dialogue about Kenta. I had a good laugh and it gives Kenta some hope, I think.

And, like Ori, I wish everyone a Happy New Year's Eve! Stay up 'til midnight, everyone!

-Taiki Matsuki


	4. IV: A Boy Who Is Also My Friend, Juri

Mizuiro No Yuuki  
Chapter IV: A Boy Who Also Happens To Be My Friend (Katou Juri)

* * *

_"Hiya, Takato!"_

_"O-Oh! Hey, Juri...Sorry, I didn't see you at first."_

_"Lost in thought again?"_

_"...A-A little..."_

_"Thinking about that mystery girlfriend? Come on, Takato...Who is she? You shouldn't keep secrets!"_

_"...Jen."_

_"Jen? Ha ha, wow...Congratulations, Takato. I'm...so happy for you two! How did it happen?"_

...I-I can't...Ha ha ha! I can't believe I thought he was...serious! Ha ha ha! I felt like such an idiot... But, Takato, you had that special smile when you said his name...How could I not take you seriously?

_"E-Er...J-Juri...I'm...joking...I'm not..."_

_"O-Oh, c-crap...S-Sorry, Takato...Just...The way you...N-Never mind...Sorry..."_

_"N-No, ha ha ha...It's okay...I-I started it with...the joke..."_ Takato...took my reaction well, I was afraid he'd be mad...I mean, not a lot of guys like being accused of that. I know Hirokazu would have been, at the very least, REALLY annoyed. But...

...Well, to be honest...

When Takato turned me down last Summer, I was hurt but he apologized for taking so long to tell me that there was "someone else." I-I don't know why but, a little after he said that and I got over things, I started thinking...

..._Who_ could that "someone else" be? I know the only other girl Takato knows is Ruki...And she doesn't go to this school, Takato doesn't see her often. In fact,_ I _see Ruki more than Takato does. I would know if they were going out. I even asked her about a month after I found out about "someone else." She told me not to make "bad jokes" like that.

I-I don't want to sound like one of those girls who doesn't take rejection well but... ...Takato hangs out with Jen _a lot_. And, I noticed this after he turned me down, Takato's got a certain smile when he's around Jen, one I don't see when he's with anyone else. It's only when he sees Jen. I call it his "Jen-Happy" smile.

...Jen makes Takato smile a lot. He can be in tears but just say "Jen's here" and he'll show his "Jen-Happy" smile through those tears. And, usually, stop crying entirely. Takato...obviously cares a lot about Jen.

If Jen was that "someone else," (And he_ never _said "another girl," he said "someone else") then...It would make sense why he took so long to tell me. Either it took him that long to realize his feelings for Jen or...he's just been that afraid to admit it to himself. Either way, I understand. I'm sorry if he had a lot of trouble dealing with it, I'm sure it was scary for him.

And, really, I wasn't that upset. I was hurt, a little, but I got over it pretty quick. I-I don't think Takato's gay just because he didn't like me...I just think he might be gay. And if that's the case, I understand what happened. He's still my friend after all. I can't stay mad at Takato, none of us can! Not even Ruki, even though she likes to joke that she hates all of us. She's Ruki, after all.

_"Still...I-I'm sorry, Takato...But... W-Well, you and Jen...would look really cute together, I think." _...I was phrasing that as a joke but... ...It wasn't all a joke, I wanted to see how Takato would react to that. Just because of how well he took my reaction to his "joke." I was...curious.

...I might have...wanted to hint that, if he wasn't completely joking, it would be okay to tell me. I can keep a secret, Takato. And...I know being able to talk to someone as "himself" would mean a lot to him, or anyone in that position.

_"Ha ha...Really? Me and Jen? ...I-I don't...know... Ha ha ha, yeah, I wonder...how our dates would go..."_ ...That was...a little unexpected. I thought he'd just laugh or insist he wasn't gay. Not play along.

_"Oh, you know Jen... He'd be a complete gentleman, hold the door for you, pull out your chair, pay for the meal, sing a love song below your balcony to help you sleep...He's Jen."_

_"Ha ha ha...'Jen-chan, you know the best restaurants, this place is so romantic. And you sing so well! Sing _'Mirai' _again for me, please?'"_ Mirai...Jen's favorite song by a singer named Mayumi Yamaguchi. He sings it at a karaoke place we sometimes go to...Takato _always_ asks for an encore. Jen's really good at singing it. I once watched Takato's expression as he listened to Jen sing, the look on his face told me Takato is Jen's biggest fan.

_"'Anything for you, Takato-chan. I love you so much.'"_ I-I did...a really bad impression of Jen. I-I accidentally made him sound kinda drunk, I think. We laughed_ so _hard.

_"Ha ha ha...Dinner, a movie, a love song and then a Dynasty Warriors tournament from his brother..."_

_"The only proper way to end a good date, killing nameless soldiers by the thousands as a legendary Chinese general."_ I said, we all know how much Rinchei loves those games...

_"Loser of the duel has to...kiss...the winner..."_ ...The way he...'joked' like that...He said it a little quieter than everything else. And I didn't say anything but Takato was bright red for a lot of the "jokes."

...Takato, you like Jen, don't you? I-I was right... Ha ha ha!

The most likely confirmation, though, was...

_"Heeeey! Takato-kun! Doin' anything tonight?"_

_"H-Hirokazu-kun...! Err...N-No...I-I..."_

_"Jen, Kenta and I are heading to that ramen place I told you about...Y'know, Yuki-chan's place!" _Hirokazu was behind him, he didn't see...how terrified Takato was that Hirokazu might've overheard our jokes.

I don't think he did, I saw Hirokazu as he more or less charged at Takato from way down the hall before patting him on the back. I-I stopped "joking" as soon as I saw him coming, but he was really close when I noticed him. I-I wish I had time to warn Takato, Hirokazu might have heard 'loser has to kiss the winner,' but...Not the context, thankfully.

But...If he did, he...didn't seem to care. That's a good sign.

Takato left after that and...I thought back on what just happened...I-I think that was Takato, not so much joking but...Being himself disguised with a joke. He could "talk" about his feelings for Jen without being afraid of anyone's reaction. It's one thing if he went along with a joke but...The look on his face, the way he blushed sometimes and how he looked after Hirokazu showed up...He's...gay. He loves Jen. I really think that's the case...

...Takato, it's okay. Please...Tell me. You don't have to hide.

"Juri?"

N-No way! Ha ha ha! Speak of Impmon!

I turn, Takato's holding a lunch tray and a bottle of water, standing by the empty chair at my table. I'm sitting alone in a corner of the cafeteria. Mostly because I wanted to think...About Takato, strangely enough. "Hey, Takato...How was that ramen place?"

"Good, actually...Mind if I sit down?"

"Go ahead," I nod. "Actually...Um...Can I...ask you something?" I glance away...This is...going to be a little awkward, but... ...Takato, I want you to feel safe telling me, okay?

Takato sits next to me at the table, nodding. "Um...Sure." He opens his bottled water, taking a sip.

"First, um...I-I know this is really personal and...rude to ask but... Takato, I want you to know that...if the answer is 'yes,' it's okay. I-I want you to tell me and be honest. I know it's...difficult."

"...Juri...?" He sets his water aside, giving me a weird look.

I take a deep breath. "Takato...Are you gay?"

Takato's eyes go wide. "J-Juri..." He whispers as his jaw falls.

...I-I...I think I offended him...

I look away, quickly. "S-Sorry, just...A-After yesterday, I-"

"Yes." ...Y-Yes?

"Wh-What?"

"I'm gay."

"...You are?" I turn back to Takato. Th-That was...easier than I thought it would be.

Takato nods, slowly. His eyes still wide. "I-I actually...was here...to tell you that. ...I-I'm...coming out today. ...To everyone." He's blushing a little but...I-I'm amazed by how calmly he said any of that!

"R-Really? Wh-Why?"

Takato glances to his water bottle. "...Last night, I got up to get some water. I passed by my parents' room and I heard them talking. A-About me and...the 'possibility' that I was gay. They...both not only accepted it but they wanted to help me feel comfortable, to feel like I could tell them and not be afraid of how they'd take it."

"Did you tell them?"

"I left a letter to my Mom in the cash register before I left for school today. I...thanked her and my Dad for wanting to help me. And that...I've decided to tell my friends today, because my parents will be there for me when I come home. No matter how things go."

"Have you told anyone else?" ...Takato, I-I didn't know you had any of this in you. I mean, you're brave but...When it comes to personal things like this...

"Hirokazu and Kenta...Kenta first...H-He...um...I'll let you talk to him about what happened, but he's behind me." Takato laughs a little. "A-And Hirokazu...supports me, too. ...But...If you see Jen...Don't mention this to him, please. ...It's really important that I tell him myself."

"You like Jen, don't you?" I smile. Jen's his mystery boyfriend...Well, not officially but I hope that changes today. That Jen becomes his boyfriend for real. I know how happy that would make Takato.

"Er...Y-Yeah...I-I do. You...figured that out from yesterday, right?"

"...It was...a little obvious before then," I say. "Not anything like you-have-to-be-blind-not-to-notice-it obvious, but...Well...You smile a certain way when you see Jen."

"I-I do?"

"I noticed it recently, Takato and...Well, when you 'joked' about being with Jen yesterday...That's why I didn't think it was a joke. You had that smile, just from saying his name."

"...Thanks for joking around like that with me yesterday. It...made me feel better to be 'myself' for just a couple minutes...You know?" I'm glad he got to feel that way...And that he feels comfortable coming out now, especially with the fact his parents accept him.

I know this isn't easy for Takato...Well, it might have been easy to tell me because of yesterday but...Kenta and Hirokazu? I can only imagine how nervous he was. And not only that but coming out, for anyone, I know is a scary thing to do...And Takato's telling everyone, it looks like.

Congratulations, Takato.

"I'm glad I could help, Takato. And that everyone supports you. How...long have you known?"

"...I-I don't know, really. For a long time, no matter how far I think back there's...At the very least something that hinted towards this down the road but I either didn't realize it or denied it at the time." He shrugs. "But...in the last couple years I...I just really liked Jen. We've always been best friends but...I-I just... ...I love him. I-I can...safely say that. I love Jenrya."

"And you're going to tell him?" Coming out and confessing...I'm impressed, Takato. I hope it all goes well for you.

"Y-Yeah...I-I hope...I might...just leave it at 'I'm gay,' but... ...If there's a chance..." He looks away, scratching the back of his head and glancing back to me. "...Any chance you...noticed him smiling a certain way, too?"

I shake my head. "Sorry, I just noticed it with you."

Takato nods. "I'm sorry I took so long to tell you there...was someone else. I felt really bad about that, Juri. I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry, Takato. Especially because this was the reason...I understand. It took you that long to really admit it to yourself, didn't it?"

"Yeah...I-I still denied it a lot until...last night, actually. I'd even sometimes think of myself in the future with kids and a wife, then go 'wait, I'm gay,' things like that. I'd just...try to forget I was 'that way.'"

"You're not 'that way,' you're Takato and that's it," I smile. "And...Good luck, Takato, for when you tell Jen. I-I wish I could say I know he'll feel the same but...At the very least, I know he'll always be your friend." I...I can't imagine Jen being angry at Takato, let alone hating him.

"...I know. ...Thank you." Takato smiles.

I give Takato a hug, smiling. He hugs back as I say, "And, Takato...I know how Hirokazu does that whole 'she's so hot' thing...A lot, right?"

"Y-Yeah..."

I let go of Takato and subtly point to another table. "Second chair from the left... ...Is he cute or what?" He's on the soccer team, I know that much, I don't know his name...

Takato laughs, glancing back to me with a smile. "...Y-Yeah, he is. _Very_ cute."

I laugh. "S-Sorry, I couldn't resist...I know you're probably tired of that with Hirokazu and girls."

"Very...Thanks, Juri." Takato laughs. "He's...on the soccer team, isn't he?"

"Yeah, I saw him playing last week after school," I say. "How'd you know?"

"Um...Hirokazu was checking out the girls doing track sports, while the soccer team..." He blushes slightly. "He was...Definitely on Skins. I...remember that. Definitely."

I laugh, "Y-You were...watching that, too? Even with Hirokazu and Kenta near by?"

Takato nods. "Hirokazu was...VERY distracted, I felt safe," he says. Oh, now I remember...I saw Hirokazu, Kenta and Takato pass by that day but I didn't know they were still in the area, let alone watching the sports teams...

...I guess I was distracted like Hirokazu was-No, like _Takato_ was! Ha ha ha!

"Too bad Jen was Shirts," I say with a grin, Takato gives me a surprised look for about a second before we both laugh, a lot. I-I can't...believe I said that...Especially to _Takato!_

We eat for a bit, chatting about...guys, actually. I-I've sort of wanted to talk about guys with a gay friend...And now I have one! I admit, until last summer I never thought that gay friend would be Takato...But...

...I think he's the best gay friend I could ask for. I'm so happy he's out now, because he looks and sounds so much happier this way.

Just as Takato's about to speak, I see someone approaching, and I know Takato doesn't want him to hear what we're talking about... "Jen!" I wave, doing what I wish I could have done when Hirokazu showed up yesterday: Giving Takato a warning.

Takato's eyes go wide, he turns around. Jen approaches our table from the tray return. "Th-Thanks, Juri." He whispers.

"Hey, Juri, Takato-kun," Jen smiles as he approaches...His usual 'I'm Jen' smile. Nothing like Takato's 'Jen-Happy' smile.

Takato swallows, looking to Jen as he gets closer to us. "Jen-kun, um...Can I meet you after school? Please? M-Meet me near the gate. I need to talk to you about something...really important..." It's amazing how...he went from so calm and happy to...Just plain nervous in the time it took Jen to walk over here.

Jen nods. "Sure...What's it about?"

"Oh, um...You'll see," Takato says, his hands are actually trembling! He...was a lot calmer when he came out to me. His whole body is starting to shake just talking to Jen. He avoids looking at Jen, too...And this is one of those rare, _rare_ times I don't see his 'Jen-Happy' smile. "It's...really, really important."

"...Are you all right, Takato?" Jen probably doesn't even have to look at Takato to pick up on how upset he suddenly is...Jen knows him that well, I take that as a good sign for Takato's confession.

"Y-Yeah. I-I'm fine." That's...so obviously a lie, Takato.

"...Are...you sure?" Jen's starting to sound worried.

Takato turns away from Jen and nods, I get a better look at his face.

Takato looks absolutely terrified...

...Well, actually, I can see why. ...I-I don't know how Jen would react if he knew Takato was gay. Or that...Takato loved him.

I'm amazed that Takato's using the word "love" when it comes to Jen. And so freely. I-I don't even use it for guys I like...Even when I liked Takato. And I know Takato wouldn't use that word unless he really was serious...

...That...tells me a lot about how much is at stake for him. If Jen disapproves...Gods, I-I don't know if Takato could handle that. I-I'll try to be near by, just in case... I don't want to see Takato lose Jen...

"O-Okay...So, um, a-after school at the gate...Right?" Jen asks, tilting his head slightly. Takato shakes, giving a...very slight nod. I don't think Jen even saw it. "T-Takato?"

"Y-Yeah...Th-The gate..." Takato whispers...Takato...Please, calm down. J-Jen's...He's Jen. Jen could _never_ hate you.

"...See you, then." Jen gives Takato one last worried look and starts off...Takato just nods, he has his head turned from Jen...to hide the fact he's starting to tear up, a tear even runs down his cheeks. Once he's sure that Jen is gone, Takato lets out the breath he's been holding for possibly this entire time.

"I-I...I can't do this..." Takato says. "I-I...I couldn't...even tell him to meet me..."

"Takato, calm down...Just breathe, okay? Breathe..." I...I actually have to give him an example. He...barely manages to slow his breathing down like mine. "Come on...Nice and slow..."

...Finally, he gets it.

"Takato...I wish I could say I know how scary this will be for you but..." If he...acted like that just telling Jen to meet him, then I don't know if he'll even be _conscious_ for his confession... "...Takato, Jen is...the best friend you've ever had and you're his best friend. He...He can't hate you, Takato."

"It's...my biggest nightmare, Juri. I-I really have had nightmares about him hating me. A lot," Takato looks to me after wiping his eyes. "It...It starts out the same...I tell Jen how I feel, how much I love him, how...I think about him all the time and how happy he makes me...A-A lot of times, it even looks like he'll feel the same, but...He doesn't. And then he tells me I'm a disgusting freak and...never speaks to me again. ...Juri, I've...woken up crying like it really happened...O-One time my Dad woke me up from it, because he said I was crying so loudly in my sleep. He said it was one of the worst times I'd ever cried... I-I don't know what I'd do...if..." Takato's starting to cry...

I give him a hug, patting his back. "Takato, stop...It's okay. It's just a dream...Jen is so nice. Next to you, he's the nicest person I know... ...He'd never do that to you, Takato. Ever. Please, just...calm down. Focus on how you'll tell him, not how he'll react. Please, don't cry..."

Takato calms down, I let go of him. He sniffs and wipes his eyes once more, saying, "Thank you, Juri...I-I needed that. You have no idea how scary this is, _I_ didn't even know how scary this would be until I started coming out. I-I appreciate everyone's support so much, I-I couldn't have imagined anything better." He smiles. "I-I'm amazed that Hirokazu...reacted so well."

"What about Kenta?"

Takato laughs. "Have you seen him today?"

"...Actually..." ...Kenta's been _smiling_ like...he won a billion yen. "I saw him in the halls and...Why is he...so happy?"

"I-I'll...let him tell you why..." Takato laughs. Tell me...? Wait, if he's that happy because Takato came out... K-Kenta...? ...I-I didn't...I-I had no idea... ...W-Well, okay, Ruki...told me that she had a theory with MarineAngemon being evidence for it, but...

...I'm guessing he thought he was alone until today. I'm happy for you, too, Kenta...Surprised, but happy.

"I'll ask him next time I see him," I say. "Are you going to be okay until...you know what?"

"Y-Yeah, I-I just...I just...I need to prepare a little. I-I have another class, I'll...try to prepare in my head."

"Just focus on how you'll tell him, not how he'll react, okay? ...And...Good luck, Takato. I want him to like you back...I really do."

"Thank you."

The bell for our last class rings shortly after. Takato and I go to our separate classes and...He looked better as he walked away. He...He can do this, I think. And...I-I think everything will be okay.

Really, Takato, good luck...

...And, please, no matter what happens, be happy. Always.

* * *

Ori's Notes:  
After Midnight Buzzed, I didn't want to portray Juri as even CLOSE to upset about Takato's orientation. Sorry about that one, Juri, but it was SO much fun to write.

Two chapters left...We'll see what happens during the confession, I'm not saying a thing about it! Except this: The confession and this chapter were the two ideas for this fic that wouldn't leave me alone until I wrote them, thus this insomnia-fic was born!

Again, I hope you're liking this one.

Finally, since Taiki's allowed to put this chapter up at midnight PST, January 1st 2011: HAPPY NEW YEAR!

* * *

Taiki's Notes:

And we have our first upload of 2011! Happy New Year fellow Digimon fans!

Ori said I could post this chapter at midnight while the next one will go up at some point tomorrow. This chapter is the one Ori sent me as a preview that made me want to put up this entire fic. See why I liked it? Please let us know if you like this and the confession chapter, too, it took me a bit of begging to get Ori to say yes to this one.

For this chapter, I was very happy to see how supportive Juri was for Takato. I think Ori really did feel bad about what he did to her in _Midnight Buzzed._

-Taiki Matsuki


	5. V: Do You Hate Me, Li Jianliang

Mizuiro No Yuuki  
Chapter V: Do You Hate Me? (Li Jianliang)

* * *

I wait for Takato by the school gate. He's taking a bit of time to get here. I don't mind, he looked so upset. It's probably why he's taking so long.

Something was...weird about him when I saw him with Juri. It was like he was afraid of talking to me...Even saying "bye" was awkward, he just...gave a nod and went back to his food. He didn't even want to look at me, it seemed.

...It's...obvious he's upset but...What's he upset about? ...I-I'm a little worried I did something to make him mad or something and that's why he was so quiet. I think it's that because I saw him chatting with Juri like he always did, he was himself. But when he saw me, he started acting...Weird and frighteningly quiet are the best ways I can think of to describe him. I-I hope he's not mad. Whatever I did, I had no idea I upset him. Takato...I'm sorry.

...It's...probably nothing like that. I mean...Takato's my best friend. We met in the fifth grade but by the sixth grade it was like we had known each other our entire lives. Hirokazu and Kenta sometimes joke that I stole Takato from them. He's known them since kindergarten and, while the three of them are really close...I think Hirokazu puts it best:

"Takato's got five best friends - Kenta, me and Jen. Jen just counts as three."

And Takato counts as five best friends for me...I-I really haven't been as close to anyone before. Ever. Takato's...very important to me, to say the least.

So, Takato, whatever's bothering you, let me know, I'll do whatever I can to make you feel better. I can't stand to see you like this...

...Especially since he didn't smile. Takato, every time I see him, is always smiling and so happy. I sort of envy that about him, nothing ever seems to get him down...Except whatever this is. ...I hope it's nothing serious, but... ...If Takato isn't smiling, it has to be serious.

I'll admit it, I'm really worried now that I've spent time thinking about how he was acting. Class distracted me a little, but I couldn't get the image of how upset he was out of my head. I kept playing it in my head, wondering why he didn't even want to look in my direction...He's...never done that before.

I glance up from having my head down in thought, I see Takato approaching in the crowd of students. And he's still not smiling. He looks...so nervous and scared. Worse than when he was with Juri.

I wave, I smile, to see if it might help. "Takato-kun!"

"J-Jen..." Takato nods his head and...sort of drags his feet on his way over to me. Like...he doesn't want to meet me.

...Takato, what's wrong?

"I-I'm here, Takato...What's going on?" ...Please, don't be like this. You're...scaring me and I don't even know what's wrong yet.

"Um...I-I...really need to talk to you. Can...we find a place to sit? Some place...quiet, too. Please?"

I nod. "Sure...Um...What about the tree over there?" I saw him, Hirokazu and Kenta there this morning when I got here. I would have stopped by, but my first period teacher asked me to come by class early today. I had to help him set up a bunch of displays for our lesson today.

...Kenta was_ smiling _today, I could see his smile from the gate. I mean... ...Kenta was just..._Happy!_ I saw him at lunch and in the school library on my way over here...I don't...think he's stopped smiling since I saw him talk to Hirokazu and Takato this morning...

...So, Kenta's happy as can be and Takato's depressed? What's going on? A-Actually, Takato...like when he spoke to Juri, he was "himself" when he was with Hirokazu and Kenta. He's only gotten like this when...

...When I'm around...

...I have a really bad feeling about this, now...

Takato, what's wrong?

We stop in front of the bench-slash-box planter. I sit down. Takato doesn't. He paces in front of me...

...I...I don't like that. "Takato...what's going on? Please, sit down and...tell me what's wrong." I try to hide how scared I am right now...Takato, are you mad at me?

"J-Jen...I..." He stops pacing, he has his side to me, facing the school. "I...I've been telling everyone this...And you're the last person I need to tell. I-It's only because I didn't see you until lunch...I would have told you sooner if I saw you."

I slowly nod. "Wh-What is it?"

Takato takes a deep breath...He speaks...Sort of.

His mouth is moving, but...I can't hear him, his voice gave out or froze or...Something! T-Takato, what...could possibly have you this upset?

"Takato, is...something wrong?" I ask.

It takes him a second but he manages to speak again after clearing his throat. "...Nothing's wrong. Or at least...not yet. A-And that's not necessarily guaranteed, but...Um...J-Jen...You're my...best friend, right?" Always.

"O-Of course, Takato. Forever. You're the best friend I've ever had, too." Why is he asking that? Especially when he's...so nervous.

"And...If something happened that upset you...Um...What do you think you would do?" Takato asks, he...finally looks to me for only a second. A tear runs down his cheek. He wipes it away as soon as he notices it.

"Upset me?" I ask.

"Like...say we had a fight or something." A-A fight? Takato...You are mad, aren't you? I-I don't know what I did but...Please, Takato, don't be angry.

"Takato...At worst we've argued over where to eat or something stupid like that and...we certainly never got mad at each other...T-Takato, what's wrong? You're starting to worry me." A lot.

Takato takes a deep breath, he's...shaking. He starts pacing again "I-I...I just...Want to-"

"D-Did I do something to make you mad? If I did, Takato, please...Just tell me. I'll do whatever I can to make it up to you...I swear, I had no idea you were mad...Please, forgive me." I-I don't care what I have to do, as long as you stop talking like this! Please, Takato, I'm sorry!

Takato stops, he turns to me with a confused stare. "Wh-What? N-No, Jen...I-I could never be mad at you! I couldn't even try," he shakes his head, quickly. "T-Trust me, you didn't do anyhing...You're the greatest friend I've ever had, Jen..." He lowers his head, sighing, "A-And if we...were to never be friends again...I-I don't...I don't know what I'd do." He lets out a quiet sob, quickly putting his sleeve to his eyes.

Gods, no...Takato, why would you say that? What could...make you think that would ever happen?

"N-Never...be friends again? Takato, y-you have to tell me what's wrong!" I stand up. I-I didn't like hearing that. At all. "Don't even joke like that!"

"...Y-You would...always...be my friend, right, Jen?" Takato asks.

"Always!" I shout, I-I'm starting to tear up. "Takato, I don't like this at all. You're so obviously upset about something that has to do with me and...What you're saying right now..." I trail off, my voice cracking in a few places. We've...never talked about anything like this before. Ever. Not being friends? Fighting? Being that mad at each other? I-I don't...like where this could end. "Takato, believe me when I tell you I swear that...I could never be that mad at you. You're really starting to scare me with this..."

"...Are you sure?" Takato whispers.

"...Did you...Did you do something you...think would make me mad? Is...that what's wrong?"

"S-Sort of...I-I'm afraid...you might hate me after this, Jen...I-I...I've been so afraid of that possibility for so long." He's afraid I would _hate_ him? ...For _what?_ And _how long_ has he been afraid?

"Takato, I could _never_ hate you, please believe me. I'm more afraid of how you're acting. You sound like we won't be friends at the end of the day or something! I-I don't like that."

"...That's...what I'm afraid of, too..." Takato's...starting to cry. He steps backward, shaking his head. "Jen, this was...so much easier with the others...With you, I-I can't do this..." He turns. "S-Sorry...Just forget I said anythi-"

"No!" I shout. "Takato...Don't leave. Not after that...Please, you...You can't just say you're afraid I'll hate you and...just drop the issue! E-Especially with-"

"Jen, I'm sorry! I-I can't! I rea-" I stop him from running off, I grab his arm and pull him towards me as gently as I can without letting him get away. "J-Jen?"

I wrap both arms around him, holding him from behind. I-I'm actually hugging him more than restraining him, he's not really resisting once he realizes this. I'm not even holding onto him all that tight. Takato actually calms down a little as I hold him a little closer, but...I can hear his breathing, he sounds terrified and...like he's going to cry. I feel his heart with my hands on his chest...It's beating so fast, he...He_ is _terrified. I-I don't know what he's so afraid of, but...Takato, please trust me.

We stand quietly for a few moments. I finally break the silence. "...Takato, I...I _swear_ to the Gods, I would_ never _hate you. No matter what... I...I..." I'm not going to let him go until I find out what's wrong. I don't like seeing Takato upset and he's scaring the hell out of me right now.

"...J-Jen..." His voice cracks, he's about to cry. Please, no, Takato...Don't tell me I'm making you cry... "P-Please, Jen...Don't make me...I-I don't want to risk...losing you as a friend. Please."

I...I might cry, too, if he doesn't calm down. "I-I can...prove that you won't lose my friendship. And that...I won't hate you. Ever." I say. I never thought I'd do this but...I think I have to. If it will prove to him I won't hate him, then I'll do it.

"H-How?"

"Takato, I...I can't hate you b-because..." I...I can do this... I take a deep breath and exhale sharply. "...Because I love you, Takato."

I feel Takato tense up in my arms, but he relaxes after about a second...He's almost completely limp, actually. I-I know...he wasn't expecting me to ever say that... I never...thought I'd tell him.

Tears start to well in my eyes as I continue. I-I told him that much, he should...He should know everything. I have to tell him now. "You're the best friend I've ever had. I feel closer to you than...A-Anyone else I've ever known." I feel those tears start to run down my cheeks. "I can't picture things without you, I don't want to even try to picture things without you as my friend! If you're so worried I might hate you for whatever it is you're going to tell me...Then I want you to know that for so long I've felt the opposite of hate for you. I've_ loved_ you, Takato. I love you so much and I have for_ so_ long." I let go of him with one arm so I can wipe my eyes, then put my arm around him again.

Takato has gone completely silent...His breathing is almost back to normal, but I can feel his heartbeat...It's racing like mine is...Possibly even faster.

I thought this...would stay a secret, but if it would let him know without a doubt that I would never hate him, then I'll tell him. I hate seeing Takato this upset, especially if I'm the reason for it...

...I just...hope you don't disapprove, Takato. I-I had no control over it, I really didn't...I never told you because you're so important to me, I didn't want to risk our friendship. I'm sorry.

"...A-Are you...serious, Jen?" Takato whispers, his voice...is closer to his normal tone. He...sounds almost happy, completely different from before. I-I'm so relieved that he's calmed down, especially this much. "Y-You're...?"

"I-I'm bi,"I say. "But I've never...had feelings this strong for anyone else, Takato. I really haven't...I'm sorry if you...don't like this, but I thought it was the only way you could know that I wouldn't hate you." I-I'm afraid to say 'I love you' again...I don't...know if he would be upset by that.

"Jen...I'm gay," Takato says, quietly.

"Wh-What?" D-Did I...Did I hear him right?

"I've been coming out today. But...the others, I only had to tell them I was gay. I-I told Kenta first and...I froze, just like when I tried to tell you...But, he accepted me, that made me feel like I could tell everyone else. Hirokazu has no problem, same for Juri. But...Jen...I didn't just have to tell you I'm gay. Th-There was...more."

"Wh-What...do you mean?" ...Do you mean what...I hope you mean, Takato?

...This can't be real...

"I-I've had nightmares, Jen, about telling you this and...You almost always hated me for it. I've woken up crying like it really did happen, like you really hated me and never wanted to see me again. It...felt so real sometimes. I'm sorry I worried you so much but...I-I was really afraid I was in one of my nightmares until now..." Takato starts to tear up. "I love you, too, Jen. Th-That's...what I've been so afraid to tell you. I-I was so afraid you wouldn't want to be around me any more because of it."

I let Takato go, gently...He steps forward, then turns to face me. "...Takato...I-I...I can't believe it..." We're both staring at each other with looks of...disbelief. Like we're not sure this is really happening...

Finally, we close the gap and hug, closely. "...Takato, I-I understand why you were so scared," I say. "I kept it a secret for the same reason. I'm sorry I thought you were mad, I was so worried with...just what you were talking about and how you were acting."

"I'm sorry, Jen...I-I didn't mean to worry you...I love you...And I-I've wanted to say that to you for so long."

"...I love you, too," I hold him just a little tighter as I say that. "I've wanted to say that for a long time, too."

I-I was so worried Takato was...going to end our friendship that... ...I didn't see the possibility he was coming out. Or even confessing. Though, even without that, I never thought this would ever happen. But, if it were me, I-I'd have probably asked some of those questions, too. And...instead I confess first, because he was afraid I would hate him.

We end our hug after a few moments, but I still keep my arms on his shoulders. I look around the front of the school...We're in a relatively secluded spot and, well, if anyone saw the scene of me hugging him, then...This won't be much of a shock.

I lean forward, cautiously, I don't know if this is too much or not...Takato gets the idea and does the same...

...As soon as our lips meet, we hear loud cheering. We manage to keep the kiss going despite the sound almost startling both of us. I have a good idea of who's cheering. When Takato and I end our kiss, we turn to the source...

...Kenta, Hirokazu and Juri, from behind a half wall in front of the school. They must have been watching the whole thing. I doubt they heard much (or any) of what we were saying before, but a kiss? ...Well, there's no denying what that means.

I smile, wrapping my arms around Takato again, shouting, "Hey, guys! Have you heard the news about Takato?" Takato laughs, hugging me tightly. I look, he's smiling again...That smile he always has when I see him.

...I never thought this could happen and...As scared as I was when this started, I'm glad Takato scared me into confessing to him. Like I said, Takato, I could never be mad at you, let alone hate you...

...Because I love you.

* * *

Ori's Notes:  
Show of hands, anyone see the "Jen confesses first" twist coming? ...Be honest, I wanna know how predictable I am.

Like I said in the last chapter, this was one of the ideas that hit me the hardest during the insomnia bout and wouldn't leave me alone until I wrote it down, so um...Draw whatever conclusion you will from that.

I honestly don't know what to think of this chapter...I didn't want it to be "easy," let's put it that way. Jen and Takato had to work for that first kiss! And I thought Jen jumping to the conclusion Takato was mad and "breaking up" with him would...be a good way to hint at how strongly he feels for Takato without having to throw in a "by the way, I'm totally in love with him" line or make it seem COMPLETELY out of nowhere... Did it work? ...I have no idea, you tell me.

* * *

Taiki's Notes:

I have no idea what to type for my notes on this chapter. I am truly speechless.

Ori, mate, I hate to say it but, um, please sleep less from now on. I-I would very much appreciate it if you adopted forty-eight or seventy-two hour days for the year 2011. Please?

Okay, please don't really do that, Ori (I know you're not _that_ insane). As much as I love it when you write Jenkato, I don't want to endanger your health. But, please, would you send me some of those other insomnia fics you claim shouldn't see the light of day? Pretty please with sugar? And the finest green teas from China? And wads of cash?

I know _one_ of those will get your attention!

In all seriousness, I am amazed by what can go through his head when he can't sleep. Actually I want to mention that I've seen Ori at what he calls "Hour 72" and, um, let's just say that was a very,_ very_ weird conversation in which Ori had either completely lost his mind or achieved Nirvana. I'm still not sure which.

Does anyone else think this chapter was a good way to help bring in the New Year? I think it was! May your 2011 be filled with love!

-Taiki Matsuki


	6. VI: Coming Home, Matsuda Takato

Mizuiro No Yuuki  
Chapter VI: Coming Home (Matsuda Takato)

* * *

...Jen loves me.

This is the greatest day of my life. Jenrya Li...loves me. W-We hugged, we kissed...We're...We're together...I thought, at best, he would still be my friend but wouldn't like me back.

Kenta, Hirokazu and Juri apologized for spying on us, even though we weren't upset. They said it was "mostly" Hirokazu's idea but both Juri and Kenta were also worried about what might happen to me if Jen disapproved. Jen proved to them he "has no problem with _Takato-chan _being gay" by kissing me again. ...Jen was my first kiss. And I was his. I...I wanted that to happen so badly and...It did.

I'm still worried I'm going to wake up any minute now.

We spent time at school after the others cheered for us. They all offered their support and congratulated us...Hirokazu and Juri found it hysterical that Jen was the one who ended up confessing first. I told Jen how sorry I was that I made it sound like our friendship was ending, he told me understood and, if it were him, he would have probably said things like that, too. I just didn't think I could tell him without knowing, for sure, we'd still be friends...I couldn't imagine things if he hated me.

Jen explained that he'd loved me for a long time. At first he said, because he was bi, he could "_ignore guys and focus on girls, no-one would ever know_" but he said, "_that was before I realized, I'd fallen in love with my best friend. Unlike anyone else I liked, I loved that best friend the most._" I-I...I turned bright red when he said that, he smiled at me the whole time he told us the story, he gave me a hug at the end of that last portion, then...kissed me on the forehead. He said he kept it a secret for the same reason I did: He didn't want to risk our friendship.

Jen told me that, even though he confessed first, he wouldn't have been able to do it if I didn't start. I-I thought I could tell him, that it would only be a little harder than when I told Kenta or Hirokazu...I was so wrong and I'm so glad that Jen confessed. Hearing him say, "I love you, Takato" was... ...Beyond the greatest thing I had ever heard. I-I was afraid he didn't mean "love" in the way I wanted him to, but the rest of his confession was proof...Jenrya Li loved me. And I loved him.

Kenta came out to Jen and Juri after Jen came out "formally" by telling the others after they approached us...Jen was surprised but Juri said she guessed by how happy he was after I came out to him. Kenta's...never been this happy before, he told us that he was so afraid of anyone knowing that he didn't even like admitting it to himself. He still won't tell his family but he's out to his friends now, he said that was more than he ever thought he'd do. Hirokazu is being especially supportive of him, he felt sort of bad about making us check out girls so much for so long (we don't think he should feel bad at all, but he still apologized for it a few times). Juri joked that Kenta and I get to invite Hirokazu to check out guys five times that he can't back out of or complain about...

...Oddly enough, Hirokazu agreed to it. Saying, "it's only fair." Kenta's checking the soccer team's training schedule for just this reason.

While Jen and Kenta talked about "their secret" with Hirokazu, Juri pulled me aside said she was going to spend time with Kenta after school, talking about guys like she and I did at lunch. I told her how much he'd like that, just because he really likes not having to hide. He went from afraid to say "gay" to...Well, the way he told Jen, he sounded really proud.

When we all started to split up and go home, I asked Jen to come with me to the bakery. I told him what happened last night and why I decided to come out today...I-I'm still amazed I managed to do it, especially after how I froze when I started to tell Kenta. If I had known my friends would support me this much (or that Jen would feel the same), I would have done it so long ago...But it's better that this happened late than never.

Jen was amazed to hear my parents were the ones who made me want to come out, especially about the note. I still have no idea how they're going to react knowing, for sure, that I'm gay...But what they said last night...

...I'm sure they won't have a problem. Even if Jen's with me. When I told him I was still a little worried about their reaction, he told me that he definitely wanted to go with me for support...I can't thank him enough. I think him being with me is why I'm not a nervous wreck as we approach the bakery...I-I'm still not sure how things will go but...

...Jen-chan's with me, that's all I need.

I open the door the bakery, it's empty except for my Mom at the cash register. My Mom looks up from something behind the register. "...Takato, how was school today?"

I look to Jen with a smile. "It couldn't have been better. Sorry I'm a little late..." Jenrya shifts behind me, taking my hand.

"...Takato and I...had a long talk," Jen says.

My Mom notices Jen holding my hand...She smiles. "I'm glad..." She whispers.

I hear footsteps running from the kitchen to the front...My Dad stands in the doorframe. He's obviously been baking something, his apron (and the entire front of his body) is covered in flour. "T-Takato, you're home." He sees Jen holding my hand... "Y-You...And Jen?" He whispers...I-I'm suddenly a little worried, he...looks really, really surprised. He stands there a moment, his eyes wide and jaw slightly lowered...

...M-Mom, you got the letter, right? D-Dad...knows I'm gay, right? ...Please tell me he knows...A-And wasn't lying about...accepting me.

My Dad practically charges at us, I let go of Jen's hand out of surprise and, I admit, a little fear. I close my eyes...And then I feel arms around me... ...I can't believe what's happening when I open my eyes...

...My Dad is hugging Jen and I. Tightly. "Th-Thank the Gods...Takato, I-I was...so worried after I read your letter. I was worried your friends might not accept you or, worse, Jenrya wouldn't. But...Y-You're with Jenrya, now, right?" He lets go of us and steps back.

I nod, slowly. Jen does the same, he looks just as surprised and confused as I feel right now. My Dad, he just smiles like..like...

...My Dad is smiling as if I brought home a girl. Except...I brought Jen home. A guy, like me, and my Dad knows that I love Jen, more than a friend. He...knows I'm gay, something I had never wanted him to know until last night. Something I thought would disappoint him or make him ashamed of me...

...And my Dad is so happy right now, even knowing all that. ...I-I can't...believe it. "I'm so glad, Takato...I put some Guilmon bread in the oven, for when you came home...I-I'll go check on it, we'll celebrate! You're...You're with Jenrya! Congratulations! Both of you!" My Dad lets out a short, relieved laugh as he goes back to the kitchen.

I stare at the door frame my Dad just ran through, then I look to my Mom. "...Mom, who was that just now?" My Mom and Jen laugh.

...That was all...unexpected. Very unexpected.

"I showed your Father the gay teen help site I looked up," my Mom begins. "He...was very supportive of you before he read it, Takato but he read the horror stories and..." She steps closer, speaking quieter. "...One boy sent them a story about his Father almost disowning him after he came out. Your Father...Your Father actually cried because the boy who wrote it reminded him so much of you. His name was Takayoshi, even. I-I couldn't believe how hard your Father took some of those stories...I had to force him to go to another part of the site."

I-I can't...believe that... "W-Wow...I-I...I had no idea Dad...would be that supportive." I bow my head to my Mom apologetically, adding, "Sorry I only left a letter. I-I...I was still scared."

"Takato, the fact you even told us was, well...We were so surprised and...Proud of you," my Mom says. "We were also happy that you wanted to be yourself now but...I-I was amazed when I read the part about you planning to tell your friends. And, especially, confess to Jenrya."

"Do you still have the letter? I'd like Jen-chan to see it." I say. My Mom nods and goes to the register, she passes the letter to me, I give it to Jen-chan.

"Thank you," Jen bows his head. He reads it saying, "I-I...I want to tell my family soon. I'm not sure how they'll take it but...Takato, to do what you did today...I don't think many people have that much courage. I want to be as brave."

"Jen...Y-You were the one to confess to me, remember?" I laugh. Th-That's...sort of funny, I think. I spend the day telling everyone I'm coming out and I'm going to confess to Jen...

...And my confession scares Jen so much, he tells me he loves me first.

"Jenrya...confessed to you?" My Mom asks.

"I-I was...so afraid Jen would hate me I kept asking how he'd act if we had a fight or weren't speaking. He thought I was mad at him," I say.

"Takato told me he was afraid I would hate him and I kept telling him I wouldn't. I was so afraid of what would happen to our friendship that...I told Takato that I couldn't hate him...Because I loved him."

My Mom smiles with a laugh, she gives us both another hug. "...I'm glad someone confessed." She lets us go after giving me a quick kiss on the forehead.

"...You're both...really okay with this?" I ask. "I-I mean...I-I've always been afraid of how you two would react if you knew that I was...gay. I-I still have trouble saying that to you because...all these years..." I sigh. "...I didn't want to disappoint you."

"We're perfectly okay with it, Takato," my Mom smiles. "Your Father, I'm sure you heard last night, took to the idea better than I thought he would. Especially after reading that web site."

"Th-Thank you...For both accepting me and...telling Dad, last night because...I was ready to take this to my grave."

"Thank you for the letter, Takato...I'm glad we helped you," my Mom says. She looks to Jen. "Jenrya...Thank you for loving my son."

"I still can't believe this is happening," Jen says with a smile. "I-I...I never thought I'd...tell Takato how I felt or that...there was a chance for us. Thank you for...giving Takato the courage to come out." He bows low.

My Mom laughs, "Jenrya, don't...be so formal. You're my son's boyfriend, you're family at this point." Jen and I both blush at her use of the word 'boyfriend.' ...I-I guess there's...no real alternative, though.

My Dad comes back up front. "Guilmon bread's out of the oven. Jenrya, please have some. As many as you want. And...thank you for being with Takato."

"Th-Thank you for...accepting him," Jen says. "H-He told us you're the reason he decided to do this...I-I'm amazed that he did it... We all are." Jen looks to me, taking my hand. "Really, Takato...You're...so brave." To my surprise, he does something I'm still not ready to do...He kisses me on the cheek. I hear an 'awww' from both of my parents. Th-The fact I heard one from my Dad is... ...I never, ever expected any of this from him.

My Dad speaks up, saying, "Takato...He's right about that. That website told me a lot and...Takato, I want you to know I'm proud of you. Especially for what you did today...If I were in your position, I don't think I could have done it...I'd be terrfied."

"I was still terrified," I say. "...I-I told Kenta first and I froze. Even my voice froze. If he didn't stop me from leaving and ask me to finish what I was saying, I-I wouldn't have told anyone else." I don't think Kenta will lose his smile anytime soon. "And when I had to tell Jen, I-I was so nervous that..." I laugh a little. I-I still can't believe how that worked out.

"...I-I was the one who confessed," Jen says with a light laugh, looking to my Dad.

My Dad lets out a laugh, shaking his head...I just...can't believe how he doesn't seem fazed by the fact that Jen is...telling him how we became a couple. "Thank you for confessing to Takato, Jenrya." My Dad says. "And...will you stay for dinner?"

"I-If you'd like me to," Jen nods. I'm sure he feels just as weird as I do about being this open. I-I never thought I'd be telling my parents any of this. I never thought I'd be with someone, let alone Jen...

...I can't describe how happy I am now. I-I'm not living a lie, I don't have to hide, I-I'm myself. Finally. And...everyone accepts it. I'm a little surprised that Juri guessed, even though I shouldn't be. She told Jen about my "special smile" at school, after we confessed. Jen turned red, he didn't realize I loved him that much. He thought I was just always that happy. I was always happy...when I was with him. He kissed me again when he heard that, saying he wanted me to always smile...

...I love you so much, Jen-chan.

"Oh, trust me, we want you to stay. I-I want to hear how everything went, Takato," my Dad says. "Everyone accepted you, right?"

"Everyone," I say. "Kenta and Jen especially...And Juri sort of guessed, actually. Even that I liked Jen." I laugh. "I-I told Jen last, after school ended. Or, he told me, actually..."

"I'm...so glad...You have no idea how worried I was for you, Takato," my Dad says, shaking his head with a smile. "I'll start dinner in a little bit, until then have a couple Guilmon bread to celebrate! First hour's anniversary or something! Come on, Jenrya, I even made some extra special sweet icings!"

"Th-Thank you, Mr. Matsuda..." Jen smiles. We both love Guilmon bread with icing, especially some of my Dad's special recipes.

My Dad and Jen go off into the back...I stay behind with my Mom. I look to her. "...Can I ask...how come you accepted this? I-I...I barely accepted it until last night."

My Mom smiles, standing by the cash register. "Because you're my son and...I've seen how you sometimes look at your picture of Jenrya. The one in your room. I wasn't sure if it was really the case but...It explained why you'd been so depressed lately and I always want my son to be happy. And I know Jenrya makes you very happy."

"Juri says I have a smile I only use when he's around."

"I think I know that smile," my Mom says. "I'm very happy for you, Takato...Don't ever be afraid to talk to us about this, okay? ...Especially your Father, that...website had a very big impact on him."

"O-Obviously," I laugh. ...I-I still can't believe he hugged both Jen and I!

"Takato! Come on! Guilmon bread! ...Jenrya, don't be shy, take as many as you want! You're my son's boyfriend, now!"

"Th-Thank you, but...F-Five is...a little too much for me..." I hear Jen laughing from the kitchen.

I start to go to the back while my Mom watches the cash register.

...I can't believe this is all happening, I can't believe I'm with Jen, I can't believe my parents are so accepting and even _proud_ of me right now...I-I never thought any of this would happen. I'm afraid I'm going to wake up any second now...

...But there is one thing that I can believe...And that's that I have never been this happy before in my entire life...And I don't see that happiness stopping any time soon.

~Owari~

* * *

Ori's Notes:

...So, what'd you think? Like I said, I wrote this mostly for personal amusement and Taiki told me he wanted it to go up...I thought I'd take a chance on it. A lot of insomnia fics I just feel are too weird or unrealistic to put up, but...Well, Taiki really, really wanted this one posted so if you liked this one please thank him.

I thought Takehiro's "enthusiasm" was sort of called for, especially if he did read those "horror stories." He'd definitely want Takato to be happy, no matter what, after that. And to know Takato had his full support.

Anyway, that's...our last fic for 2010\first fic for 2011! Huh, two-in-one deal...Nice! Hope you like what we're working when it goes up! I will say, this was a lot of fun to write even if it was just to get the idea out of my head.

Happy 2011, everyone!

* * *

Taiki's Notes:

Thank you for letting me post this one, Ori! And, again, I accept full blame if this fic is "not all that good." I forced it out of him, you may blame me. I know Ori does.

I'm really glad the Matsudas had one more "acceptance" fic, I know Ori likes to use Takehiro's reaction for drama like another fic he's working on right now. I only got a description, it's one of the unfinished Christmas fics he's working on as a non-holiday upload - He really wanted it to go up.

May you all have a Jenkato filled New Year! In fact, let's get to work on doing just that, Ori! Jenkato for all!  
-Taiki Matsuki


	7. VII: My Brother, Li Lianjie

Mizuiro No Yuuki  
Chapter VII: My Brother (Li Lianjie)

* * *

Jianliang's missing out if he doesn't come home soon...

...Lucky him.

We're going to see a movie in about about an hour and a half. Something Xiaochun described as "super cute," so...Yeah, I'm gonna _looooove_ this. Something about a family of turtles living in the forest and making friends with a human kid. I'm going 'cause I have nothing better to do. Jialing sort of wants to see it, so she's using Xiaochun as an excuse to go. I did that once with a remake of an old anime I liked as a kid, but... ...I don't wanna see something "super-cute." Especially with the musical numbers they show in the previews... ...How can turtles dance like that, anyway? Turtles. Can. Not. Break. Dance! Then again, those scenes were so super-cutesy that should be the least of my worries...

We'll be leaving soon. Dad's in the shower, Mom's making a quick early dinner before the movie. I'm playing video games in the living room.

As I play, I hear my Dad's cell phone go off. I check the display...Jianliang? I might as well take it. "Yo."

"Lianjie? What are you doing on Dad's cell?"

"He's in the shower, I thought I'd take a message since it was you," I say. "Where are you? Actually, stay there. Xiaochun's making us see the turtle movie."

"Oh, she's finally going to see_ Kame-Chan's Forest?_ Wait, you too? Really?"

"I have nothing better to do," I say. "What did you want to talk to Dad about?"

"Um, well...I'm over at Takato's and...I have something I want to tell everyone. I thought Dad could...relay the message."

"I'll get a pen and paper."

"Don't bother, you...won't forget this. Trust me." Jianliang says, quietly. "Something happened with Takato today."

"Crap! Is he okay?" I ask. Takato and Jianliang are...like the best friends on Earth. I mean, Jianliang never had that many friends as a kid until he met Takato and...They're like, hell, closer than he and I are! Takato's practically my other little brother. If he's been hurt or something...I want to say I'd be as upset at Jianliang, but...Jianliang and Takato are waaaay close. Gods, please, tell me he's okay...

"N-no, not like that! He's fine, it's...Well... ...Lianjie, Takato told everyone something and...Because he did that, I want to do the same. I-I'm just afraid of doing it in person." ...Wha?

"...O-kay...What happened?"

"First, um... I-I hope you won't be upset, okay? I-I thought, if I told Dad first and he wasn't upset...He could do damage control, sort of." ...Damage control? This'll piss people off? ...Takato, did you, like, break someone of ours or something-Damn it, I knew I shouldn't have let him borrow my Suikoden games!

"Is Suikoden okay?"

"What?"

"Did. He. Break. Sui. Ko. Den?" Takato, I trusted you with the greatest RPG series ever! If you broke that trust or that game, I'll...!

"...No, Takato...didn't break anything, it's not that...kind of upset, Lianjie." Thank. The. Gods. "It's...Um...Okay...I-I can do this...Just...give me a second..."

"Dude, you...sound nervous." Like he's about to piss himself.

"I-I am...Really nervous. It's hard for me...to say this, Lianjie."

"...Why?"

"...Um..." ...Wait...Takato told everyone something and...People might get... ...No way...

"...Jianliang, um... ...Did...Takato...Come out or something?"

"...Y-Yeah, he did... H-How'd you guess?"

."W-Wild guess..." 'Cause Takato's...already kinda gay, I mean, there's just something about-...Wait... If Jianliang is...nervous then... ...Wow...Just...Wow... "...Jianliang, y-you're gay, too, aren't you? Th-That's what...this is?" There's a long silence on the other end. "...Jianliang?"

"...Yes," he whispers. "T-Takato...and I are...more than friends now."

"...Dude..." I-I had...no idea, Jianliang. No. Freakin'. Idea.

"...A-Are you...upset?"

"N-No, j-just...shocked, I mean...I-I never suspected you for a second!"

"Lianjie, who are you talking to?" I hear Mom's voice, I turn around. She's standing behind me with a plate of baozi.

"Er...I-I'll...tell you in a second, Mom!" I say, putting the phone to my shoulder. "I-I just...need to finish this call, okay?"

My Mom nods, giving me a confused look. "Is everything okay?" She sets the plate on the coffee table.

"Y-Yeah, fine!" I nod, quickly. She walks off, I put the phone back to my ear. "S-Sorry, Mom just...asked who I was...talking to. H-How'd it happen?"

"Takato...spent the day coming out to everyone. His parents suspected him as gay and he overheard them say they'd support him." His _parents_ thought he was gay? ...Well, like I said, Takato's...there's something about him, y'know? I sort of suspected it, but...Not Jianliang. "He left them a letter and told...all of us. ...Wh-When he told me, I-I sort of...confessed to him. I'm bi." Bi? No wonder I didn't see this coming...That's, like, easy to hide I guess.

"I-I see..."

"Are you...really okay with this?"

"Y-Yeah, dude...I swear, I'm just shocked," I say. "Y-You want to keep this between us or...?"

"I-I wanted to tell Dad so he...could tell everyone else or freak out or whatever. Do you know how he might take it?"

"Damned if I know," I shrug. "But...I'll tell everyone for you and do what I can for damage control."

"You don't have to...It's a lot to ask of you."

"H-Hey, you're my little brother. What kind of big brother would I be if I didn't try to help you?" I ask. "So, are you two...happy together?"

"...Very," I-I can sort of sense that Jianliang was probably smiling when he said that. ...Love'll do that. "I never thought this would happen, Lianjie, I thought...We'd never be together. I-I'm staying here for dinner, his parents want to know how everything went and...his Dad is celebrating, kinda." His _Dad_ is celebrating?

"Celebrating?"

"They...know how hard it was for Takato to keep this bottled up and 'act normal,' you know? They talked about how they wanted to hint that it's okay for him to come out...And he did. All of our friends know about him...And me, now."

"...Wow. Congrats, Jianliang. I'm happy for you two...I mean, I-I know how close you two were before, so...Yeah, I'm glad you're so happy."

"Thank you...And, um...I-I'll tell everyone else when you get back from the movie-"

"Dude, it's okay...I'll tell the family and give you a heads up on whether or not you should stay over there for the night or not, okay?" I say. "I mean...If they freak out and you're here...I'll defend you, but...I don't wanna see you upset. Let me do damage control, okay?"

"Thank you, Lianjie...You're a great brother."

"Exactly, I gotta live up to that," I smile to myself. "How's Takato doing? I mean, now that he's..." I trail off.

"It's...a huge relief for both of us. I...I could hide it but, Takato was just tired of being afraid that people would suspect him or hate him. He was afraid I'd hate him, especially. I couldn't hate him, Lianjie. Ever."

"How long have you liked him?"

"...A long time. Probably since a little after we met, I just didn't realize it until a few years ago. Thanks for...understanding."

"Hey, you're my brother and this doesn't change that. You're Jianliang Li, no-one else. Got it?"

Jianliang laughs a little on the other end. "You're the best, Lianjie."

I hear the bathroom door open. "Dad just got out of the shower. I'll relay the news...I'll let you know what's going on, stay there 'til you hear from me."

"Okay...I-I don't know if I should say 'good luck' or what...But...Thank you."

"Anytime, see you later, bro. Congrats." I hang up Dad's phone. "...Hey, Dad," I turn, Dad's on his way to his room. He's wearing a change of clothes and combing his hair as he walks.

"What is it?"

"Could...we call a quick family meeting? Jianliang has something he wants me to tell everyone. He's over at Takato's right now for dinner." I ask.

Dad nods. "Okay. What's going on?"

"Um...I'll tell you guys when we're all together. Mom just made bao zi, so we'll talk and eat."

Dad gives another nod. I take my plate of bao zi to the dining room table. Jialing's there already, eating.

"Who called?" Jialing asks, looking up at me.

"Jianliang...Something huge is about to go down, get ready." I doubt she'll be upset. I know she likes CLAMP and stuff like that.

"Is he okay?"

"Yeah, it's nothing bad. At least, I don't think it is." I shake my head, sitting down. "Quick family meeting though! Nothing too big...I hope."

"...Lianjie, why do you look so nervous?"

I-I look nervous? Crap...I gotta calm down... "...I'll fix that!" I go to the kitchen and straight to the fridge. Mom's finishing another batch of bao zi.

"Lianjie?" Mom looks to me as I get a beer. "We're going out to a movie..."

"Trust me, I kinda need this...We're having a family meeting, I got...a message from Jianliang." I say.

"That's who you were talking to? ...What happened?"

Just before I answer, Dad pokes his head into the kitchen. "Mayumi-chan, Lianjie wants a family meeting...Are you done with the bao zi?"

"Just finished the last plate. I'll be right out." Mom says, I hurry into the dining room at sit at my usual seat.

Once Mom sits down and passes Dad and Xiaochun their plates, everyone stares at me...

...Crap, why did I agree to this?

I down some liquid courage in a couple big gulps...I'm gonna need it.

"What's going on?" Mom asks. "You were talking to Jianliang and...You sounded weird."

"Lianjie's always weird, Mom," Jialing says.

"...Um...You all know how Jianliang and Takato are best friends, right?" I ask. Everyone nods. "Well, Takato...Um...Takato came out. Today."

"...Came out?" Dad asks.

"Of the closet," I say. "He's gay."

"I see," Dad nods. "...Can I guess where this is going?"

"...Probably," I nod. ...Wow, Dad got that quick. Did...he suspect anything?

Mom's eyes widen. "W-Wait...Jianliang...and Takato...?"

Xiaochun lets out a cheer. "I knew it!" ...What? ...Xiaochun, did you...really just say you _knew_ it?

"...You knew it?" I ask, looking to Xiaochun.

"Jianliang's always happy when he's with Takato, they had to be in love!" ...I gotta love how open-minded Xiaochun is. She isn't even fazed. Jialing, the resident shounen-ai nut, is speechless. Xiaochun? Jianliang's in love! LOVE~!

"...Jianliang's...gay?" Jialing asks.

I nod. "H-He wanted to tell Dad, but he was in the shower so I took the call," I explain. "I volunteered to break the news. ...I've got no problem with it, I mean, those two are...So damn close already."

"Figures," Dad shrugs, picking apart a piece of bao zi.

"You don't seem shocked," I say. "How come?"

"I know my children, Lianjie, and...I thought it was sort of obvious that Jianliang and Takato were...closer than most friends," Dad explains. "I didn't immediately think they were gay, but...I could see it as a possibility."

"Y-You could?" Mom asks.

"Couldn't you?" Dad replies, looking to Mom.

"W-Well...I guess I just never suspected Jianliang," Mom says. "But...Takato..."

"Yeah, quick show of hands...Anyone here actually surprised by this revelation about Takato?" I ask. No hands go up. "I thought so." I look to Mom. "And If it counts for anything, Jianliang told me he's bi, not gay," I say. I then look to Jialing. "...Why are you so quiet? I mean...Hello? Ms. I Love Gravitation? Kyou Kara Maou? CLAMP in general?"

"...I-I'm just shocked." Jialing replies. "I have no problem with it, but...Wow..."

I shrug. "He told me that, well, Takato overheard his parents talking about the possibility and that they'd accept him. So, today, he came out to everyone. Jianliang told him how he felt." I finish my beer and start on my bao zi. "When he wasn't nervous as hell, he sounded really happy."

Dad smiles. "I'm glad you're taking the news so well, Lianjie."

"Hey, he's...Jianliang. I'm happy if he's happy," I say. "It's...a surprise but...Well, I wanted to save him from any bad reactions at home. He's having dinner with Takato. His parents are celebrating, actually."

"Celebrating?" Mom asks.

"Yeah...His Dad is really happy for them," I take a bite of my baozi. ...I'm surprised by that thing with Takato's Dad...I mean, the Dad is usally the one the least thrilled about this sort of thing. Takato's freakin' lucky...And Jianliang, too, just going by Dad's reaction. I swallow my bite, adding, "Jianliang says he liked him for a long time...So, I'm really happy they're together."

"That's...amazing, Lianjie," Jialing says. "I mean...I know how you react whenever I have some of my manga lying around."

"That's different," I roll my eyes. "I don't wanna hear about a pretty-boy rock star making out with with an emotionally distant novelist. But my little brother? I want Jianliang to be happy."

"I bet he is! I know how much he loved Takato," Xiaochun says.

"Again...How did you...know that?" I look to Xiaochun.

"'Cause every time Takato an Jianliang are together, Takato smiles a lot. And Jianliang is always happy when he's with him. I thought they might be in love for a long time," Xiaochun replies. ...My little sister has gaydar. I can't believe it!

But...Looking back...

Ever since they were kids and Takato came over here almost daily, or Jianliang would be at Takato's, they were always smiling. Always happy. I remember one time, Jianliang was having a really lousy day and...Well...

...Crap, I think I subconsciously suspected this, 'cause I knew Jianliang was...just feeling really down and all that. It was last year, I forget why he was so down...Something happened at school and he and Jialing were also getting on each others' nerves a lot that week. I thought he could use some cheering up so I called the Matsuda Bakery, ordered a batch of their Guilmon bread and asked if Takato could be the one to deliver it and if he could stay a while. I told them Jianliang needed his friend. Mrs. Matsuda agreed to it.

An hour later, when Jianliang answered the door and saw Takato there, he was... ...Let's just say he went from sad and a little pissy to totally freakin' _happy_ just by looking at Takato and an order of Guilmon bread. I paid for the bread, taking a couple for myself (those things are good) while they took the rest and spent the next, like, six hours or so in his room talking or playing games. Actually, since it was a Saturday, Takato ended up spending the night...

...Hell, I should've see this coming just from that. ...I'm happy for you, Jianliang.

"...So, is everyone happy for Jianliang and Takato?" I ask, looking to everyone.

Dad nods. "Of course."

Jialing nods. "Like I said, I'm...just surprised. And I'm happy if Jianliang is happy."

I look to Xiaochun, saying, "And I know _you_ support them," I say, grinning. Xiaochun gives an enthusiastic nod.

"...I have no problem with it," Mom says. "I never suspected Jianliang, though but...It makes sense. Like Jialing, I'm just surprised."

I let out a relieved sigh, "Good...I-I was sort of worried. I mean, I can just imagine how happy those two are right now. I didn't want any bad news to ruin that." Jialing laughs, I look to her. "What?"

"Lianjie, I can't believe you're talking like that...That's all."

"H-Hey, like I said, pretty boy rock stars and novelists are _completely_ different from Jianliang and Takato!" I roll my eyes. I get up, taking my plate. "I'm gonna call Jianliang and let him know it's safe to come home whenever."

"Hurry up, we don't want to be late for_ Kame-chan's Forest_!" Xiaochun says. Yeah, Gods help me should I miss the cute turtle movie... Jianliang, you are _so_ lucky today. You don't have to sit through two-hours of singing and dancing turtles! ...Oh, and you get to be with the boy you've loved for all these years. That's a good thing, too, I guess...

I go into my room and pull out my cell phone, calling Jianliang.

"...Lianjie?" He answers on the third ring.

"Xiaochun knew," I say. "She's got gaydar, I guess."

"...Seriously?"

"Yeah, but...Everyone supports you. Dad didn't even react! Mom and Jialing were a little surprised but not in a bad way."

"That's...such a relief," Jianliang lets out a quiet sigh. "Thanks again, Lianjie. I-I owe you one."

"Be happy...And maybe bring back some Guilmon bread," I joke. "That stuff sounds good."

Jianliang laughs, "Takato's Dad made a huge batch of it to celebrate Takato coming out...And he's making some for me to take home. I'll share with you, definitely. They're even using a special icing."

"Jianliang, you are officially the best little brother on Earth," I grin. "If I survive the turtle movie, I'll be happy to split that Guilmon bread with you."

Jianliang laughs. "I'll pray for you safety. Thanks again."

"Anytime, little bro. And...Tell Takato I'm glad you two are so happy together. I mean, you just...sound happier than usual. Even for being at Takato's."

"I-I will...Thank you, Lianjie. I'll see you tonight."

"See you tonight. Congratulations." I hang up my phone and start to finish my plate of bao zi.

Jianliang and Takato...Yeah, I should've see this coming. Dad and, amazingly, Xiaochun did. I'm surprised Jialing never picked up on it. Whatever, I wish them both the best...'Cause I know Jianliang is going to be a million times happier now.

...I wonder if I can get a "my brother is dating your son" discount on Guilmon bread now, though... Ha ha ha!

* * *

Ori's Notes:  
This chapter and the one after it sort of hit me the other day. Not because I couldn't sleep, I just wanted to cover the Li family's reaction.

Originally, this was Jianliang's POV from the bakery but I thought Lianjie was a better choice to work with. He'd be surprised but at the same time supportive of his little brother. I don't know if this chapter is as good as the others, though. Sorry if it isn't.

Oh, and for the record: I do not see Cutesy Turtle Movies as a bad thing in the slightest. Go turtles!

* * *

Taiki's Notes:

Yes! More to Mizuiro No Yuuki! Thank you for the extra chapters, Ori!

I liked this one for Lianjie's reaction to the phone call and Xiaochun in general. I was a little worried at first that Mayumi wasn't too thrilled about the news. I'm glad she was "just surprised."

-Taiki Matsuki


	8. VIII: My Son, Matsuda Takehiro

**EDITOR'S NOTE:** This chapter is out of order with the others, it takes place any time between Chapter II and Chapter VI. -Taiki Matsuki

* * *

Mizuiro No Yuuki  
Chapter VIII: My Son (Matsuda Takehiro)

* * *

So, it's...official. Takato is, in fact, gay. I...I admit, I never thought this would happen, but... Well, it's something I know he had no control over. I'm not disappointed in him or ashamed. Surprised, yes, but...He's still my son.

I never even considered this until last night. I'm sorry Takato overheard us, I'm sure he was either really nervous or really embarrassed at the thought of us discussing that sort of thing about him. But I'm actually proud of him for writing that letter. I know it's not something that's easy to tell people. Especially your own parents.

I look at the computer in the back office of the bakery...The gay teen help site my wife looked up is displayed. I want to know what Takato might have been going through. I want to understand so it's easier for both of us when he comes home...

...Especially if things don't end well. I'm actually really nervous about how his friends might react. I'm trying to think about what each of them would say...

...Juri, I know she liked him and I think he did turn her down. Takato never really talked about it. I know she doesn't come by as often as she used to and she doesn't bring up the idea of them going out any more when she does. In fact, I once overheard her ask Takato about his "mystery girlfriend." I guess he told her he liked someone else or something, I meant to ask him about it but it slipped my mind. It was a day I had to get out a huge order of Guilmon bread...That stuff sells so well, it's amazing. Everyone loves Guilmon, I guess. I don't think she'd be too upset, if she's still his friend after being turned down.

Hirokazu... ...That's going to be interesting. I know he's girl-crazy. I often overhear him and Kenta talking about the girls at school...That's not a good sign, I think. Well, they could be open minded but...Given how much Hirokazu goes on about girls (especially this one waitress at a ramen shop, he came by ONCE last week and would not stop talking about 'Yuki-chan'), I'm worried he'll be a little "grossed out" or something. But...At the same time, they're both Takato's oldest friends. They wouldn't abandon him so easily. I hope.

Jenrya... ...That's who Takato loves and... ...Gods, please, let Jenrya at least stay his friend if he doesn't like Takato back. Even before the idea that he was gay came about, I know how close those two are and how much Takato cares about Jenrya. If Takato couldn't be his friend... ...He'd be devastated. I-I don't think Takato could handle that. He's always talking about Jenrya. Jenrya this, Jenrya that, what he and Jenrya are going to do that weekend... ...It's amazing that I never suspected anything just from that. If Takato says he loves Jenrya, then... ...It's obvious.

Takato, I really hope you end up with Jenrya...I know, most Fathers don't wish their son to be with another male but... ...If it would make Takato happy, then that's what I want for him.

Now for this web site... ...I feel sort of weird looking at this, but...I want to understand. I want to be able to talk to Takato about this and not constantly ask stupid questions I should probably know the answer to. I just...never really looked into this kind of thing. At most, I've seen a couple gay comedies on television if there's nothing else on. And...Takato doesn't act like that. He's not "flaming." He's...Takato.

...Okay...I think I should start with... "Why am I gay?" ...Well...Because...You like men? ...Th-That's...why! I mean... They don't know "why" people are gay yet, do they? It's just...what happens. I know it's not a choice...

...Okay, what about this... "Coming out." That...That would be a good place to look. It's what Takato's doing today. He's coming out. Let's...see how people do that.

I click on the link and it loads a list of "user submitted coming out stories." ...Okay...Let's read...

_Dear Gay Teen Help,_

_My name is Hideo. Last year, I came out to my family in an email while at college. I had just entered a relationship and I thought it was time my family knew about me. I wish I could say they all took it well.._

_My Mom supported me, she said she had suspected it for a while. My sister was also behind me. My little brother, Yosuke, however, hasn't really spoken with me as much as he used to. _

What? ...His little brother? Why?

_I guess he wasn't ready to know. Despite my Mom and Sister's attempts at talking to him, my little brother thinks that I'm "gross." He and I used to be really close and...I still care about him but he doesn't really want much to do with me. I think it's because, after I came out, some of his friends started picking on him for having a gay brother._

That's not your fault, though! It's those punks who he should be mad at! That's just not fair.

_Things have gotten a little better between us. Yosuke's birthday was a couple weeks before I sent in this story and I got him the new Digimon World Game. He was really excited and wanted to play it with me. It was the first time we'd done anything like that together in a year. We're both gamers, I guess. Things are more like they used to be, as long as the subject doesn't come up but... ...I'm sorry he's taking it so hard. I'm not mad at him, I'm mad at whoever picks on him._

_-Hideo_

I'm glad this guy's brother is coming around but...He shouldn't distance himself from his brother just because some stupid kids make fun of him. Then again, kids are cruel... Well, Takato wasn't. He was...always a nice kid. Jenrya, too.

I click on another story.

_Dear Gay Teen Help,_

_I don't regret coming out, not anymore but...For the first year it was Hell._

...That's...not a good start.

_My name is Takayoshi. I'm in high school, I want to be an artist when I'm out of college. I used to draw a lot of Digimon artwork when I was younger...I still do but a lot of it is, well, my favorite pairings. Daiken forever!_

...Takato's an artist and Digimon fan. I-I don't think he draws his favorite 'pairings,' but...If he did, it wouldn't surprise me with this "gay" revelation. I know a lot anime and game fans draw or write stuff like that, their favorite couples. I've seen a lot of Takato's recent artwork, though, he still draws Digimon and things like that. He drew a really amazing picture of "Vampiredemon" or something like that doing this attack with these red whips or something. Takato is really good at drawing these days.

_I met my best friend through Digimon, actually. He was a huge Adventure fan like I was, we even had the same favorite character: The Digimon Kaiser._

Um...You lost me. He's the bad guy, right?

_A lot times, we joked about how the Kaiser always had a trap for Daisuke and called him things like "pretty boy" and stuff...I guess I was kind of hinting that I was...into that kind of thing with him, I just made it sound like a joke. We joked that the Kaiser had a thing for Daisuke, I supported the pairing, I didn't think he did. Sorry to go on about my favorite yaoi couples, but it's part of the story._

Uh-huh.

_Well, anyway, one day I was on my friend's computer and found a fan fic he was writing. It was of Daisuke and Ken after Ken wasn't the Kaiser anymore. Daisuke forgave him and...He left off just before the kiss. When my friend saw I was reading it, he freaked out and claimed it wasn't what I thought it was. I asked him if he could finish it, I wanted to know if Daisuke felt the same way or not. After that, he told me he was bi and I told him I was gay. We, um, actually waited a long time before our first kiss. We were just that in the closet. We were "gay friends" not "in love." We held hands sometimes but nothing was official for a while. I guess we were afraid or something._

He...met his...best friend through Digimon. That's sort of what Takato did. Takato...he's still a huge Digimon fan. I know he's a little old for it but... ...He went to the Digital World, he's allowed to be a fan for life. He loves the games, too...He spent months saving up for a hand held system so he and Jenrya could play Digimon World or something against each other. I-I helped him with it, I bought the game for him after he bought the system.

He was really happy, I think it was because it meant Jenrya would be coming over even more.

...This...kid really reminds me of Takato, I guess.

_When we were in high school, we started to take things seriously. We kissed for the first time during freshman winter break. After that we were an item. I called him 'Ken-chan,' since his name is close to Ken's (I won't give his name to you, though, sorry). Come our second year, I thought it was time my family knew about us. My Dad had been telling me to go out with someone, about how when he was in high school "he had a ton of girlfriends." ...It was after one of those conversations, I asked him, "Dad, what if I told you I was in love with Ken?"  
_

_He freaked out, telling me I was "confused" and "going through a stupid phase." He didn't let "Ken-chan" come over anymore, we only saw each other at school and his house (his parents were actually cool with it, his sister once walked in on us kissing and said we were cute together after the shock wore off). When he found out I was still seeing Ken-chan, he threatened that I either stop seeing him or get out of the house._

Wh-What? ...What the hell kind of Father would do that to their son? O-Over something he had...no control over...

...Is this what...Takato was afraid of? That...I might react like this? ...Takato...I-I would never, ever do that to you! But, then again, I'm sure...Takayoshi thought his Father wouldn't... ...Gods...I-I feel so bad for this kid...

I-I could never threaten to throw Takato out. Especially over this... ...But, even I know that's one of the worst horror stories out there. It's what Takato was probably afraid of, or at the very least I would be disappointed in him. ...I'm sorry you were so scared, Takato.

_My Mom sort of helped, she wasn't thrilled about Ken-chan and I but she didn't want me to get thrown out. My Dad just stopped speaking to me for a long time, he'd ignore me mostly. A few times he set me up on blind dates with girls, friends of the family. It was really annoying, especially since he'd sort of chaperone us to make sure I didn't sneak off or something. I-I wouldn't, actually, I'm not into girls but I don't want to be rude! And it was also really embarrassing._

Gods...That's just horrible. I-I wouldn't force anything like that on Takato. H-He likes Jenrya and if that's who he likes, that's who he likes! I wouldn't want to make him "go straight," h-he can't!

...This "Father" is an idiot and... ...To think he'd do this to his own son.

_In the last few months, I think he's given up. He knows I won't grow out of this "phase" and that I'm just not into girls. He's even let Ken-chan come over again. Ken-chan can't spend the night or even stay for dinner but it's an improvement. We still don't talk like we used to. I wish I could say my Dad still cares about me like before but..I just don't know. I hope he does because I still care about him, I know he just doesn't understand what I'm going through. I know, if he did, he wouldn't be like this._

_Things are looking better, I guess. I'll keep you guys posted if things change,_

_-Takayoshi_

I...I can't believe it... His own Father is like that...

...And...Takato was probably afraid that would be a best case scenario for him. I-I know Takato doesn't think I'm some kind of monster but I know he was probably afraid of that sort of reaction from me or his mother...

...Takato, I-I want you to be happy! I want you to be with Jenrya! I don't care who you love, as long as you're happy! Please, Takato...Don't...be afraid to talk to me about this. You're...my son. You'll always be my son... I'm proud of you.

"...Takehiro?"

"H-Huh?"

"...Are you...okay?"

"Y-Yeah..." I turn. My wife is standing at the door frame, looking at me. "S-Something wrong?"

"...Takehiro...You're...crying."

Wh-What?

I feel my cheeks...I...I am crying. I-I can't believe I didn't notice... "I-I...was just...reading some of these stories. About teens who came out and...This one kid, he reminds me so much of Takato. H-His Father...isn't speaking to him because he's gay. I-I think...that's what Takato's afraid of. That...we'd act like that."

"I know he doesn't think we're that kind of people, Takehiro."

"I know," I nod, wiping my eyes. "But...The fact it even ran through his mind, I-I can just imagine how afraid he was before he overheard us. ...Wh-When he gets home, I want Takato to know he can talk to us about this, always. I-I'm not ashamed of Takato...My son."

"T-Takehero... H-Here..."

I wipe my eyes again, looking away. I feel a tissue pressed against my arm. "Th-Thanks..." I take the tissue, wiping my eyes.

"I-I can't...believe you're this worked up..."

"...He's an artist. Like Takato. I guess when I read his story, I thought of Takato instead of some nameless kid online. N-no, he wasn't nameless... H-His name is Takayoshi. I-I..." My wife gives me a hug, I stammer a bit before going silent and hugging back... ...I kinda needed that, I guess...

I-I never thought I'd get this upset reading these stories but... ...I think about this poor kid and then Takato, how Takato was so afraid he would end up like this kid if he told us. Or if we found out. And I know Takato doesn't like to talk about personal things like this, so the fact he left a letter...That tells me how much it took for him to write it and actually tell us. And how much of a relief it is to him that we'd accept him...

"...I'm glad you're this worried for Takato, but...I-I think you should go to another part of that site. I-I've never seen you cry over something like this," she says. "Please?"

I nod. "I-I guess I should...A-And I should..get back to baking. We have some Guilmon bread to make for Takato. ...Do you think he'll be okay?"

"Takato's strong and his friends are good friends. I'm sure he'll be okay when he comes home. And, no matter what, we'll be there for him."

"Yeah..." I smile. "Takato...doesn't have anything to worry about from us."

Takato, I promise...I've never been more proud of you. It takes a lot of courage to do this, knowing how some people would react. Please, no matter what, be yourself and don't be afraid...

...Son.

~Owari~

* * *

Ori's Notes:  
After the "last chapter" (Takato POV, not Lianjie POV) I wanted to cover Takehiro on the teen help site. Sorry this one is out of order with the others.

This was a little weird to write since I usually play Takehiro as the homophobic parent, but it was also really easy to write him as supportive. I hope you liked how it turned out.

Anyway, I think that's it for this fic (for real this time!)...These two ideas just sort of hit me and I wanted to write them out. Hope you enjoyed! Now I need to work on the other stuff I've been planning for January...Oy, I got a busy month ahead of me.

* * *

Taiki's Notes:

Takehiro's not the only one to shed a tear for Takayoshi! Poor Takayoshi, and I can see why his story got to Takehiro so much. I'm really glad to see another fic where Takehiro supports his son, especially _this_ much.

Thank you for the extra chapters, Ori, and good luck with your January projects! I'll be waiting patiently to edit them for you!

-Taiki Matsuki


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